Page 13 of Something Good
I let out a frustrated sigh and turned to find Jimmy leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. “How much of that did you hear?”
“All of it.”
I studied him, looking for signs of another panic attack, but while he looked pale, his breathing was steady and his eyes didn’t have that wild look about them that told me an attack was imminent. Ignoring the confrontation that had just taken place, I asked, “Did you eat dinner?”
“Why you gotta rile her up?”
I shrugged. “She pisses me off.”
“You know she’s not going to change. And you don’t have to look out for me for the rest of my life, you know. I can take care of myself.”
“Like you did at the pool today?” I shot back. He blanched, and I immediately regretted my words.
“Shit, Jimmy. I’m sorry,” I said, running my hands through my hair and over my face. “That was a shitty thing to say.”
“It’s alright,” he said, but he ducked his head, not meeting my eyes. “It’s true.”
“It’s not, and I didn’t mean it. We’ll figure out how to manage the panic attacks. I’ll do some research.” I crossed over to him and put my hand on his shoulder, waiting until he finally looked at me. “And someday, you’re gonna get out of here, out of this shitty house in this shitty town. I’m going to make damn sure of it.”
“What about you?” he said softly.
“What about me?”
“You always talk about getting me out of here, helping me get into college or whatever. But you never talk about yourself. What are you going to do?”
The fact was, I had no fucking clue. I’d never given my future more thought beyond getting Jimmy out of here. He was the priority. After that, I guessed I’d figure it out. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to worry about me. Why don’t you go back to reading? I’ll take Mom’s car and run to Taco Bell. I got paid today.” I faked my way through a smile, trying to offer him some reassurance, which I’m sure he saw right through, but he didn’t call me on it.
“Yeah, okay,” he said, but before I could walk past him to get Mom’s purse from where she’d dropped it on the floor, he grabbed my arm. “I love you, Sammy. You deserve better too.”
We didn’t really do feelings in this house. There were no hugs. No pats on the back. No high fives. Of course I loved him. He was my brother. But his words made me uncomfortable. Unsure how to respond, I only nodded before moving past him into the living room, where I grabbed Mom’s purse, not bothering to dig the keys out, and walked out the front door.
7
WILL
Sammy walkedacross the pool deck like he owned it, making his way through moms chasing toddlers and preteen girls giggling as they tried to catch the attention of their peers. It was hot outside, with temperatures soaring into the nineties, and the pool was nearly at capacity. I was on lifeguard duty, and I was doing my damndest to focus on all the inhabitants of the pool, scanning the sea of swimmers, looking for any signs of distress, but like a magnet, my eyes kept finding their way to Sammy.
Water dripped off the ends of his messy blond strands, running down his tanned chest and disappearing into his red board shorts. Shorts that were wet and plastered to the curve of his ass and did nothing to hide the bulge at his front. I’d felt that bulge pressed against mine just a couple of days ago. The memories of that kiss, the way he’d used his tongue to fuck my mouth, the grind of his hips as he’d pressed his erection into mine had played on repeat nearly every moment of the last couple of days.
As if he knew the direction of my thoughts, he turned his gaze toward me, his eyes slowly tracing a path down the length of my body. The look in his eyes and the way he held his tonguebetween his lips was obscene, making my entire body flush and my dick chub up. I was thankful I was sitting under the shade of an umbrella, which would hide the evidence of his effect on me.
He knew though. I was sure of it. He knew what he did to me.
As if to prove it, he winked, his lips stretching into a wide smile, and then he turned and walked over to the benches where he and Jimmy had set their towels.
“Hey, man.” Someone tapped my knee, and I looked down from my perch to see Jason’s eyes flicking between me and the spot where Sammy’d just been standing. If he’d figured out who I’d been looking at, he didn’t say anything, though I had a feeling he had his suspicions. Jason was a shrewd observer of others. I’d realized over the last couple of weeks that he saw more than most people gave him credit for. “I’m tagging in. It’s time to rotate.”
I gathered my water bottle and sunscreen and climbed down to the pool deck, shifting out of the way so he could take my spot.
“You going to the bonfire tonight?” he asked as he positioned himself on the stool.
“Bonfire?”
“Yeah. A bunch of us are going out to the lake tonight. It’s the usual crew.” He looked over his shoulder in the direction of the lifeguard office near the gate. “Hannah, Sonny, and Rafi are coming, plus a bunch of kids from our graduating class.”
It sounded exactly like the kind of distraction I needed. “Yeah, man. I’m in.”
“Sweet. Pick me up at eight.”
