Page 70 of Blackmail
A quiet snap and a sharp pain in my hand makes me realize I’ve been gripping the game piece hard enough to make it crack.
I clear my throat. “You obviously need to go. Let’s get upstairs to pack, and then I’ll take you home.”
Simon pauses from his pacing. “No. You don’t need to do that. I’ll call a car, and you can stay and enjoy this swanky place a little longer.”
“We already talked about going back today.”
“I know, but this is… I don’t want…” He looks pained, trying to finish his sentence.
That’s when it hits me. He doesn’t want me involved. His family, his past—it’s too personal. I may have paid for a boyfriend experience, but this situation requires a level of trust and commitment money can’t buy, a level I haven’t yet earned.
“We’re over an hour outside of Belle Argo, Simon. A rideshare would be expensive if you could even find someone willing to take you. I’ll drive you. We can leave as soon as I throw my clothes into a bag. The rest is up to you once we get to wherever your brother is.”
That appeases him. Unfortunately, it only leaves me feeling hollow.
Helping people is why I built my business and later why I poured so many resources into trying to stop the kidnappings that seem somehow tied to my company. Now, when I feel this thing with Simon could be more, there’s nothing I can do except act as a delivery service.
As I return to the room, my frustration leaks out. I quickly shove my clothes into my bag instead of folding them, which is my preference.
“You don’t have to take me, you know.” Simon’s expression is guarded as I throw in toiletries without returning them to their carrying case.
“Stop. Let’s just go.”
The loudest silence I’ve ever heard surrounds us on the ride back. Damn my car’s superior insulation and the lack of road noise. I spend most of the trip mentally kicking myself for the anger I can’t seem to shake and the way Simon is, for the first time in days, looking at me as if I’m a stranger. Someone he has to tread carefully around. Someone he can’t trust.
Our first ride in a car together was filled with unspoken sexual tension. Now it’s filled with tension of an entirely different kind. What I wouldn’t give to turn back the clock.
This isn’t his fault.
Just tell him how you feel.
There’s so much in my head, but my jaw is clamped shut. Simon’s been set from the beginning on this being a temporary arrangement that can’t go anywhere. Maybe he’s right. There’s no negotiating when the other side is already certain of a particular outcome.
Perhaps it’s bad timing. As he keeps reminding me, I’m still married. And Simon is on the verge of a life change and possibly moving away from Belle Argo entirely.
I need to let Simon deal with his family and his job situation. Knowing that partly entails letting Simon return to being with other men ties an agonizing knot in my stomach, but it isn’t my place to make that decision for him.
Once my marriage is dissolved and Simon has done whatever his future holds… I guess we’ll see.
I rub at the dull pain in my chest, losing hope even as I try to convince myself we still have some.
“Almost there,” I tell him.
“Thanks,” he says. “For everything.”
It’s the only thing he’s said to me in an hour. The words feel very much like a goodbye.
I’m prepared to drop Simon off in a parking lot when we arrive. However, when we pull up in front of what appears to be an oversized shack with the words Grub N Grow hand-painted on a sign outside, it doesn’t take long to see the situation.
A young man with dark hair and eyes like Simon’s sits on a bench outside. He’s wearing pants with suspenders over a short-sleeved button-up shirt, but no shoes. In one hand is a battered-looking backpack. He’s dirty, and his feet appear to be bleeding.
Before I can finish parking, Simon is out of the car, wrapping his brother in a fierce hug.
I can’t just leave them here.
I’ll drive them the rest of the way back to Belle Argo. Then I’ll leave them alone.
Walking up, I realize the kid also has a split lip. My hands clench. “Did you get into a fight?”
