Page 44 of Switch
“Didn’t expect that,” I gasp.
“I don’t want to hear shit like that out of your mouth.Don’t go calling me a liar when I’m telling you how I feel about you.Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.”My heart hammers even as I say the words.The sting of the slap gives way to a gentle caress of his hands along my skin.
Is it wild to want to feel this way all the time?With him?
He pauses to drop his pants then crawls onto the bed.“I did some research.After you told me about you and Marina.”
PJ covers my body with his, caging me with his arms.His thighs maddeningly squeeze my hips, because it doesn’t quite allow me the room I need to grind my dick against his.Each of his hands wraps around each of my wrists, like a comfortable pair of handcuffs.
“There’s a million fucking rabbit holes, you know?”PJ’s speaking so calmly, so matter-of-factly, considering he’s running his nose along my shoulder and up my neck in a way that makes me shiver.“It’s like, I wanted to understand what you’re into, so I looked at some stuff online.Only I didn’t understand half the words, so I’d have to search up a word in the definition of another word, and next thing I know I’m texting with my friend Ravi at three in the morning about fucking cock cages.”
A shocked laugh flies out of me, causing me to choke and sputter.“What?”
“He’s been on some strange kink research binge lately.He’s one of those people.You know, the ones who think it’s fun to research things.Since I’m not one of them, I’m making an executive decision.”
Oh?“Am I going to like this decision?”
“You tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“You have to tell me what you like.That’s the decision.Whatever you had going on with Marina, I can’t be her.So, if there’s something you want, or something you like, let me know.If you don’t like something, you tell me that too.”
Oh, that’s… Wow.It seems so simple.But… “Some things we might have to try for me to know for certain.”
He tips his head to the side in confusion, which makes sense.I was married for over a decade and sexually active for longer.How would I not know?
“Marina…” I take a deep breath.This feels odd, talking about sex with my late wife, but we probably need to, don’t we?“Marina liked control.And pain.She led, and I followed.Nothing was ever against my will.I had a safe word.But I also went along with a lot because it was just easier.So, what I know I’m really into is maybe not as clear as it should be.”
The line between PJ’s brows deepens.“Sounds kind of one-sided.Is that how things are supposed to go?”
Shame burns as I look away.“I was a shy nerd when I met Marina.I’ve been in one serious relationship in my entire life, PJ.I don’t know how anything is supposed to go.”
“Got it.Okay.That’s cool.”He surprises me by brushing a kiss across my lips.“We’ll figure it out.I like exploring.I like solving things.I definitely like touching you.”There’s another kiss—this one lands on my jaw.Then another, on my chest.
His breath fans across my nipple, and my hard cock gives a kick.A moan of pleasure slips out of my mouth.
“Okaaay, so you for sure like me messing with your nipples, yeah?”He runs the flat of his tongue over the hardening nub, then he bites down.Gently, then harder.It’s not the sharp bite of a pair of nipple clamps, but more like a dull ache that’s once again followed by a flush of tingling across my skin.Yeah, I definitely like it when he does that.
I don’t think I realized how much I missed this.This…connection.This intimacy.“Oh fuck, that feels good.”
“Oh!”PJ sits up abruptly and snaps his fingers.The air conditioning on my wet nipple is sweet agony.So is the way his ass presses down on my cock.
I nearly miss it when he says, “We need a safe word.”
“What?”I blink through my lust-infused fog.The way he keeps switching gears is a special form of sadism.My erection pulses angrily.My brain knows this conversation is essential.My hard dick and I would both like to skip the formalities and get down to business.
“Not one you used with Marina.Something for me.Just for us.Choose.”
“Choose?”
“A safe word, Fallon.Or we could do the whole red light, green light situation if you’d rather.”
“Oh.Uh, yeah.Okay.”I cast about in my mind for something meaningful, something easy to remember.Something I associate with PJ and not Marina.My memory lands on our first date.Then the morning after.
“That morning when you got me pancakes for breakfast.Which was sweet.I liked that a lot.”
