Page 73 of Switch
PJ’s still.Chin lifted, poised, waiting for me to reject him.If I haven’t rejected him for anything he’s done or told me so far, will this really be the thing to do it?
It should be.
“I don’t like it, but…I understand why you didn’t tell me.”He says he hasn’t had sex with these men, and I believe him.“Did it help?Did you find out anything about Evans?”
He’s quiet for a moment longer.“Nah.”
That’s all he’s got to say?
We get moving again.I feel like we’re both trying to keep our steps light, but they echo on the silent street.
“None of the other escorts recognized Evans’s picture,” PJ finally says.“Tried following Brennan around for a while, which eventually led to a gun in my face.He insisted he didn’t know anything.”
“You can’t honestly believe him.”How solid is the word of a pimp?
“I didn’t at first.The more I thought about it, the more I realized Brennan’s got no reason to lie.Whatever that driver said, Brennan has too much pull in this town to get in trouble if he killed somebody.Honestly, I was finally starting to accept that Evans might be gone until that kid showed up tonight.This way.”
We make a right, and there’s a set of railroad tracks crossing diagonally through the street we’re on.There’s a corner store, of sorts.A sign advertises selling cigarettes and hot wings, but the place is closed.The doors and windows are boarded up and padlocked for the night.
“What do you plan to do if it’s really your friend this guy saw?What if it’s not?”
“So many times I thought I saw him around town, only to realize it was my imagination.If it’s not him, then it’s not.My priorities are still the same.You and me, finishing my business degree, and then seeing where things can go.It’s a little soon, but whatever’s in my future, I want you in it, Fallon.”
My eyes burn a little.I look down, pretending to be focused carefully on the tracks as we cross.Nobody’s said that to me before.“I want that too.”I pause, my pulse racing as I consider my next words carefully.“It’s definitely too soon to ask this, but how do you feel about children?”
PJ’s head whips around.“Fuck.”Out of nowhere he shoves me hard, and then shoves me again, stumbling across the tracks and sprawling backward into gravel-covered cement on the other side.Before I have a chance to ask what in the absolute hell is going on, PJ launches himself at me.We roll together into a patch of scrubby grass.
“Keep your mouth shut.”PJ slaps a hand over my face, covering my eyes.I open my mouth anyway, because what the hell?Even for PJ, this is over the top.
But then I hear it.I feel it.
The shaking and rumbling.The earth quaking beneath us.Heat and flying gravel, pelting us as a train passes in the dark.
A train.In the dark.
We both remain still until the engine has passed and the noise dies down.
When PJ pulls his hand away from my eyes, I ask, “That wasn’t thunder we heard earlier, was it?”
“I don’t think so.”He seems to be scanning the area.“That was close.Fuck, there are supposed to be warning lights and shit.”
Too close.I point to a sign near the crossing that shows the tracks are out of service.“If these tracks have been decommissioned, there wouldn’t be a need to maintain the safety lights.”
“Then why the fuck are there trains using them?”
We pull each other up to standing.As I dust gravel from PJ’s clothes, his posture is tighter than ever.In the light of the moon I can see his chest rising and falling.He’s pulled his knife out, clenching it in one fist.I think we’ve both finally realized how impulsive our coming here was.
Flooded with adrenaline, I reach for his free hand and pull him in, pressing my mouth against his.“You saved my life,” I whisper against his lips.
“Shouldn’t have had to.”He turns in the direction the train came from.“There’s an old freight yard up that way.Must have been where it came from.”
I’m having trouble letting go of one detail.“There were no lights.”
“What?”
“When the train went by.It was hot, loud, gravel hitting my face, but we were in the dark.In one of my books there’s a murder on the train tracks, so I’ve researched them a little.The headlamp of a train is, like, two and a half million lumens.The average car headlight is a few thousand.We should have been blinded by that train long before we nearly got flattened.”
I meet his gaze, surprised to see him wearing a completely unhinged smile in the moonlight.He pulls me toward him.“All I heard was you saying I’m right.”
