Page 7 of Broken Forced Mate
The answer that comes to mind is three years old and buried deep, where it can’t hurt me anymore.
“I should finish packing,” I tell her before closing the textbook I haven’t been reading. “We leave for Grayhide in the morning.”
Dora studies my face with those perceptive green eyes. “This trip is going to be interesting.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’ve spent three years avoiding going back there. Now you’re returning engaged to someone you don’t love to face people you’ve been running from.”
“I’m not running from anything.”
“Rae.” She uses the nickname she’s had for me since freshman year. “You’ve turned down every invitation to visit home. Christmas, birthdays, and pack celebrations. Your brother had to come here just to see you.”
That visit from Oren six months ago was awkward. He spent two days trying to convince me to come home for his wedding anniversary celebration, and I spent two days making excuses about why I couldn’t leave my studies. The disappointment in his eyes when he finally gave up still haunts me.
“I’ve been busy with school,” I claim.
“You’ve been hiding,” she corrects. “And now you’re engaged to a man you met six months ago while you’re still hung up on someone else.”
My stomach clenches. “I’m not hung up on anyone.”
“Right. That’s why you get that look on your face whenever you think I’m not watching. Like you’re remembering something that hurts.”
I stand and walk to my dresser to pull out clothes I’ll need for the trip. Folding and packing give my hands something to do while my mind races. I’ve spent three years building a life where the past can’t touch me, and it all threatens to crumble at the thought of going home.
“There was someone,” I admit without turning around. “A long time ago. It didn’t work out.”
“What happened?”
The memory of that night in the garden crashes over me like a wave. Wyn’s gray eyes went cold as he rejected everything I offered him. The humiliation that followed, the certainty that I’d misread every signal between us.
“He made it clear he wasn’t interested.”
“And you’re sure about that?”
I snort and reply, “Trust me. There was no ambiguity in his response.”
“People change their minds, Rae. Especially when they realize what they’ve lost.”
“Not him. He’s not the type to second-guess himself.”
Dora is quiet for a moment, then gently says, “Maybe that’s true. But are you sure marrying someone else is the answer?”
The truth is, I don’t know if Bastian is the answer to anything. When he proposed, accepting felt like the easiest way to move forward with my life. To prove to myself that I could build something meaningful without the man who rejected me.
But easy isn’t the same as right.
A knock on the door interrupts my brooding. “Come in.”
Sera pokes her head through the doorway, her dark curls bouncing as she enters. “Ready for the grand homecoming?”
Sera Walsh has been my closest friend since arriving in Llewelyn territory. She’s studying political science with a focus on negotiations, and we’ve spent countless hours discussing the complex relationships between different territories. She’s also one of the few people who knows why I really left Grayhide.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I tell her.
She notices my suitcase and frowns. “You’re bringing your entire wardrobe for a three-day trip?”
I look down at the overstuffed bag and realize she’s right. I’ve been packing like I’m moving for good, not visiting for a long weekend.
