Page 72 of The Good Part
‘No, you can’t tell anyone. What happens on an expedition stays on the expedition.’
Through the kitchen window I can see Sam dancing with Amy in his arms. His lips are moving – he’s singing to her.
We sit in the car for a few minutes, neither of us making a move to get out. Perhaps Felix remembers he’s in trouble, while I’m reluctant for the magic of this afternoon to end, eager to hold onto this new feeling of camaraderie with Felix. Finally, Sam notices us, waves, and now our expedition really is at an end.
In the hall, Sam bends down to wrap Felix in his huge arms, saying muffled words into his shoulder, ‘Don’t you ever do that to us again. You had me so worried.’
‘I’m sorry, Dad.’
‘We’ll talk about it later. Did you do what you needed to do?’ Sam asks, and Felix nods. Then Sam holds out his hand and Felix passes him his iPad.
‘I’ll need it for school.’
‘Then, you can have it back at school time,’ says Sam.
I watch as Felix pulls the logbook from his backpack and tucks it into his trouser pocket, shooting me the look of someone who thinks they’ve got away with something.
‘There’s food on the table,’ Sam tells him, and Felix heads through to the kitchen.
I nod after him. ‘He’s a great kid, isn’t he?’
‘He is,’ says Sam. ‘They both are.’
And then I notice Amy, her eyes wide as pools, crawling towards my leg. She’s not crying or biting or smelly, and even though she has a bit of purée on her top, I don’t mind picking her up and letting her nuzzle into my neck. I feel a warm hum of pleasure at being loved by this small creature. She doesn’t care that I’m failing at work, that I embarrassed myself at the returns desk in Selfridges, or that I just got a fine for jumping on a train seat. She just loves me because I’m her mother, or at least someone who looks and smells a lot like her.
When Felix is out of earshot Sam asks me, ‘You didn’t find this portal back to another world then I take it?’ His face is a picture of sceptical amusement.
‘Surprisingly, no.’ I say, putting Amy down and watching her crawl off towards the kitchen.
‘Good. I think I’d miss you if you disappeared into another dimension.’
We stand opposite each other in the hall, and I can’t quite meet his eyes. He’s looking at me so intently, but I don’t know how to be around Sam now. He was so tender towards me last night, saying all the right things, but it doesn’t change the facts.
‘Do you want the good news or the bad news about what’s been happening here,’ Sam asks, watching me with smiling eyes.
‘Both,’ I say, clasping my hands behind my back, trying to be normal.
‘Well, the bad news is, Amy chewed your favourite pair of shoes.’
‘And the good news?’
‘You probably don’t remember which your favourite pair is. They might not be your favourites any more.’
‘Ha ha,’ I say, pushing a hand against his shoulder. He catches it and pulls me into a hug. It feels so normal. I want him to kiss me again, like he did last night. I want him to be Sam from date night, where we get to start at the beginning, not halfway through. I want a real second date.
A beam of sunlight shines through the glass on the front door, blinding us both for a moment.
‘Let’s go out,’ I say suddenly.
‘Out?’ Sam asks. ‘You’ve only just got in.’
‘It’s such a beautiful evening. I saw bluebells in the park when we drove past. They never last long, if we don’t see them now, we might miss them. Let’s go – family outing.’
Sam looks torn. ‘That’s a nice idea, but the kitchen’s a mess, Amy’s tired, I need to get her bedding out of the dryer before—’
‘Sam. Twenty minutes. Come on.’ I do a little dance, jigging my thumbs from side to side.
His eyes crinkle in a genuine smile. It feels like a triumph. ‘Kids, eat up, Mummy says we’re going on a family outing.’
