Page 80 of Is She Really Going Out with Him?
“Our little Jess became a woman this weekend,” she tells me.
“Oh.”
“There was a…a situation with our white sofa.”
“Oh God.”
“It’s fine. I sorted it out before Dan noticed. The poor thing was mortified. She had some cramping, she didn’t have any of the products you bought her. It’s been a bit of a morning. But you don’t need to worry, we went for a girls’ lunch, talked it all through. I bought her a moonstone. My mother bought one for me when I started my journey into womanhood.”
The tightness in my chest releases; I’m relieved it isn’t something worse. But now my stomach is a soup of unpleasant feelings: sadness that I wasn’t here, anger that Sylvie was, heartache that my daughter was embarrassed and away from home. We’ve had conversations about it, I have a special box of pads at home, just in case, but she doesn’t have anything like that at Dan’s. I should have planned for this, I should have known it might happen.
“Thank you for doing that,” I say to Sylvie, and I genuinely am grateful to her for being kind.
“How was your holiday?” she asks.
“It was a work trip, and it was fine, thanks.” I give her a grudging smile. “Are the kids ready to go?”
“Come in, come in,” she says, opening the front door and walking through to the beige hall. I don’t want to come in, but I don’t want to risk looking rude by saying I’d rather wait in the street. Dan is in the living room, wearing cycling spandex.
“Hon, have you moved the Allen key for this saddle?”
“No,” I say, a reflex, before remembering he’s not talking to me.
“Oh, hey, Anna,” he says.
“I haven’t moved it,” Sylvie says, and there’s a sharp edge to her voice. She noticed my mistake, even if Dan didn’t.
Seeing Dan in his spandex after so recently seeing Will in much less, I can’t help but compare the two. Do Sylvie and Daniel have the kind of sex I just had with Will, or do they have the kind of sex Dan and I had? My mind jumps back to Friday night, Will’s commanding voice: “You want me. Say it.”
“You okay? You look flushed,” Dan asks me, then frowns. “Don’t come in if you’re sick, I’ve got a Tri Club event next weekend. I can’t get sick.”
“I’m not sick, it’s just hot in here.”Why did I come in? It’s always a mistake to come in.
Ethan is in the garden playing with a plastic cricket bat and stumps. When he sees me through the French windows, he throws down the bat, runs to pull open the door, then comes in to hug me.
“Hey, kiddo,” I say, pulling him into my arms and kissing his hair, inhaling the glorious, sweaty smell of him.
“Did you see how good I got at cricket?” he asks.
“Ethan, let’s finish what we were doing. Stumps away,” Sylvie says, slowly circling a finger toward the garden. Ethan obediently shuffles back toward the door. “We like things spick and span here, don’t we?”
There’s a heavy stomping on the stairs, and Jess comes down and stands in the hall with her bag.
“Hey, Jess,” I say, giving her a sympathetic look and holding out my arms for a hug.
“Don’t be weird. Let’s just go,” she says. So I follow her out of the house, trying to be as non-weird as possible.
—
At home, Ethanruns straight into the garden to play with the cricket bat and ball we keep in our garden shed. While he’s outside, I take the opportunity to talk to Jess.
“Sylvie told me you started your period. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”
Jess grunts in response, and I reach out for a hug. To my relief, she walks into my arms and lets me hold her.
“It was so embarrassing, Mum. I just wanted to be home with you,” she whispers into my shoulder.
“I get it, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. It sounds like Sylvie was nice about it though?”
