Page 89 of Is She Really Going Out with Him?
“Yes. I’ll be there in five minutos.”
He hangs up before I can ask him to wait in the street. I don’t need him being a source of speculation among my colleagues. But as I’m gathering my things to intercept him, I see Dan already loitering in the hallway.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, hurrying over to meet him.
“Fine. I already said. Don’t stress,” he says, and now I’m annoyed that I’ve agreed to spend my lunch break with him when I have work piling up.
“I wanted to tell you in person,” he says as we turn a corner to walk up toward the Circus. “I never see you on your own now, so I was passing your work and—”
“Tell me what?” I ask.
“Sylvie is pregnant.”
Sylvie is pregnant?“Oh, wow,” I say. “That was quick.” I’m surprised, but no wave of emotion follows. I feel strangely neutral about the news.
“She didn’t want me to be an old git in the dads’ race at school. She said if we were going to do it, she wanted to get on with it.”
“You’ve only been together a few months.”
“It’s been a bit longer than that. We’re happy, Anna.” There’s a warning note in his tone. “I’m not asking for your permission. I’m telling you first, as a courtesy.”
“Great. Good. I’m pleased for you,” I say, feeling a jolt of injustice. I was only pointing out the facts, not making a judgment.
“It’s early days, but Sylvie wants to tell the kids now, I don’t what them to feel…” Dan trails off.
“Replaced?” I offer.
“Right.” He frowns, then shakes his head. “No, not replaced, left out.” We walk past a sign for a pub and Dan nods toward it. “I might need something stronger than a coffee.”
“I thought you didn’t drink anymore,” I say, but Dan is already halfway down the steps. The pub is empty, having only just opened. After ordering a pint for Dan and an orange juice for me, we find a table in a dark corner. He takes the chair that faces out toward the room, then sits down and gazes into his pint. His face is pinched with tension, and I wonder if this might be about more than just the baby.
“It’s a big deal, me having another child. I didn’t want you to feel weird about it,” he says, fingers swiping at the condensation on his pint glass.
“I don’t feel weird about it,” I reassure him, and as I say it, I realize it’s true. A month ago, Dan moving in with Sylvie felt like a massive deal, but now, with this much bigger news, I feel surprisingly unaffected. It will be significant for the children, of course. Jess will be delighted; she always wanted another sibling. Ethan might struggle, especially if it’s a boy. But it doesn’t feel like it affects me that much. I don’t feel sad that it is not me having Dan’s third child. If anything, I feel relieved. I don’t think I realized it until now, but I don’t want any more children; that part of my life is well and truly done.
“Congratulations,” I say, raising my glass to Dan’s with a wide smile. “Sylvie must be thrilled.”
“She is. She’s had me glugging this fertility juice, full of spirulina or some bullshit, so at least that can stop.” He looks across at me and smiles, and it’s the first joke we’ve shared in a while,certainly the first at Sylvie’s expense. Dan shakes his head. I notice his hunched body language, his fingers tapping against the table.
“You’re allowed to be a bit scared, you know,” I say gently.
“I am happy about it, I am,” he says, shifting in his seat. “It’s what we both want, it’s just…” I leave the silence, waiting for him to speak. “The baby stage is tough.”
“It is.”
“They’re so much easier now, the kids. Maybe it’s bad for me to say this, but I get on with them so much better now, since the divorce. When we were married, they always preferred you. Now, when they’re at mine, they ask me to do stuff with them, they talk to me. I like how things are, I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
“You won’t,” I say, and reach across the table to squeeze his arm.
“I don’t miss the sleepless nights, the nappies, the lack of…well, I like it just being me and Sylvie.”
As he’s talking, I realize that he’s here because he wanted to confide in someone. Dan has a lot of friends but not many he would be able to admit these vulnerabilities to.
“That’s understandable. You haven’t been together long. You want to enjoy the honeymoon period a little longer,” I say.
Dan looks sheepish. “Is it weird that I’m talking to you about this?”
“Maybe, but I’m glad you feel you can.”
