Page 20 of Is She Really Going Out with Him?
“I think I’ll manage on my own,” I tell him.
“Okay, wait there a sec,” he says, then leaves me holding the rod while he goes to get something from the cool box. Just as I start to think I might almost be enjoying myself, my phone pings, distracting me, then the name on the screen makes me scowl.
Will Havers
Can I get a heads-up on a theme for your first column? I need to write mine.
No “please,” no “thank you,” no “sorry for bothering you on a Sunday.” Typical. Holding out my phone with one hand, I decide to take a selfie with the lake in the background. Maybe I could get a shot midcast; that would give him a clue. Lifting the rod with one hand, I give it a quick backward flick, and then I’m about to launch it forward toward the lake, when there’s a guttural scream from behind me.
“AGGGGGHHH!” Neil yells.
I spin around to see him crouching on the ground, the fishing line attached to his face, the hook embedded in his cheek, with a streak of blood dripping down into his stubble.
“Oh God, oh no, what happened? Was that me?” I cry, quickly pocketing my phone.
“Never cast when someone is standing behind you,” Neil says with an agonized groan.
I feel like that’s something he probably should have mentioned in the initial briefing, because this is definitely not the kind of hookup anyone is looking for on a first date.
—
As we walkbriskly back toward the car, I offer to drive Neil straight to the hospital, but he insists he’s fine. He says he’s done this before, it’s only a small hook, he just needs his wire cutters so he can cut the end of the barb before removing it.
“Are you sure you should be doing that yourself?” I ask, feeling slightly faint whenever I look at the bloody hook attached to his cheek.
“I’m fine, it just hurts to talk,” he says, clutching his jaw. I can’t think of anything appropriate to say, so we walk the rest of the way in awkward silence.
As he bends down to climb into the driver’s seat, Neil lets out a deep groan.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” I ask, but he slowly shakes his head. As Neil fiddles with the sat nav, I take the opportunity to scroll through the photos on my phone. The selfie I took by the lake came out surprisingly well, so I send it to Will with a fishing rod emoji. Even if we are now secretly at war, I need to present a veneer of professional cooperation, lull him into a false sense of security. He replies with a thumbs-up, which I can’t help feeling underwhelmed by as a response. Then a few minutes later another message from him, a screenshot of one of his oldTeen Girlcolumns, “How to Talk to Boys.”
Will Havers
In case you need a refresher.
“What’s so funny?” Neil asks, and I realize I must have laughed out loud.
“Nothing, sorry,” I say, guiltily stowing my phone in my bag.
As Neil turns the car onto an A road, we approach a group of cyclists riding two abreast on the road in front of us. Neil slows the car.
“Look at these wankers, taking up the whole road. Shall we have some fun?” he says with a smirk, dried blood at the corner of his mouth. Then he revs the engine and accelerates right up behind the cyclists before dropping back just in time.
“What are you doing?” I ask, panic seizing my insides. He might be joking, trying to scare them, but it’s dangerous and not at all funny.
“We’ll show ’em who owns the road, eh?” he says, revving again. One of the cyclists swerves into the hedge, another turns around to shout at us, but Neil only edges closer, the bumper almost tapping one of the cyclists’ wheels. I cover my face; I want to scream.He’s trying to kill them. This will be attempted murder, and I’ll be an accomplice.
Neil opens his window. “Get off the road, wankers!”
“Oh God!” I yell, bracing myself for a crash. All the cyclists now swerve into the bush, in genuine fear for their lives, and Neil gives them the finger, cackling with glee as he accelerates away.
“Jesus, Neil, you could have killed someone!” I say, heart racing as I struggle to catch my breath.
“I wasn’t going to hit them,” Neil says. “Just make ’em think twice about taking up the whole road.”
—
I’m still shakingwhen Neil drops me home.
