Page 25 of Molly
Betsy shrugged. “I may not date musicians, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate beauty when I see it.”
Amanda let her head fall back on the back of the couch. “Hashtag doctorwhocureswhatailsawoman.”
“Someone take her phone away and don’t let her in any more locker rooms.” I pressed my foot to the pedal and ran the material under the pulsing needle. When I reached the end of the run, I snipped the thread.
Amanda stared at me, genuinely horrified. “Am I really as bad as some of the athletes in the locker room?”
“Yes.” Nicole and Jocelyn said in unison.
I gave them both the stink eye. “No. But we don’t like to be objectified as women, so it isn’t really fair of us to turn around and do it to men.”
Betsy selected a pile of material from the oops basket on the ground and started picking out thread that had been sewn wrong. “Since when did you develop a filter? Isn’t that against your life motto?”
“I in no way lied just now.”
“Lies!” Nicole shot up from her bent position over her pattern on the floor. “We’ve totally gotten off the Dr. Ben topic, and I for one want to get back to that. Direct question time for she who cannot tell a lie.”
“I thought you were going to run interference for me.” The little fink.
Cream coated her feline smile. “Question number one. Have you, Molly Jane Osbourne, developed feelings for one doctor Ben Reed?”
I swiveled back around to the serger, jamming the end of Chloe’s dress under the needle then stomping my foot to the pedal. The machine whirred as it roared to life.
Did I have feelings for Ben? And if so, what kind?
I honestly didn’t know.
8
Ben
Dr. Feinburg didn’t keep me guessing for long as to my punishment for demanding he stick to the work hours requirements set by the Accreditation Council. With a smirk on his face he pronounced my sentence: night float duty.
All the interns and residents had to take their month-long rotation on night float—coming in at six p.m. and leaving at eight a.m. the next morning. A lot of my colleagues griped about the change in schedule and pace. Whereas day doctors made rounds, ordered tests, and treated patients, the doctors on night float only had one objective—keep the patients alive and, as much as possible, stable. Oh, and a stack of paperwork a mile high on all forty-two patients in the unit.
I’d seen some night float doctors sleep, keeping the pager close to their head in case a nurse needed them. But that didn’t sit well with me. If the nurses had to work this shift, then the doctors should be working alongside them, not snoozing in a back room.
Molly had been understanding when I’d called her and said that I needed her to be with Chloe during the night. She’d had to stay late at my house a few times already, but for the next month she’d need to spend five nights a week at my place. She didn’t seem put out at all, and I’d breathed a sigh of relief to have someone I could rely on to help with Chloe when I needed.
The night float shift really wasn’t a punishment in my mind, although I wouldn’t tell Feinburg that. Not only did I now have a set schedule at the hospital, I had more time during the day with Chloe. I’d need to catch a few hours of sleep in the morning, but we could spend most of the afternoon together.
And anyway, I only had to endure Dr. Feinburg for the rest of the month, then my rotation in pediatrics would begin and I could kiss surgery goodbye. Family physicians needed a wide range of training, so residents in the field did rotations in emergency medicine, surgery, geriatrics, pediatrics, internal medicine, obstetrics-gynecology, and psychiatry.
I couldn’t wait to go into private practice and put this hospital business behind me for good. Though the walls were scrubbed and everything sterilized, it seemed nothing could rid these halls of the memories and heartache so many people left behind. My own were painted across the walls a few floors down. A room in labor and delivery that had taken me days to be able to step foot in without emotion clogging my throat or tears stinging my eyes.
Ghosts haunted the white, seemingly innocuous room, if only in my mind. A place known for bringing life and joy into the world—and it was, even for me. But life and joy came hand-in-hand with death and sorrow. Those memories were so vivid I was scared to entertain them. Both for the pain they caused and the fear of them fading.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Not a day went by that I didn’t think of Laura. How could I not when the reminder of her stared back at me in the face of our daughter? At first it had hurt too much to look at Chloe. To think of Laura. But even deep wounds heal over time, and now thoughts of my wife didn’t bring a fresh sting of pain powerful enough to bring me to my knees. Instead, the memories brought along with them a sensation of peace. Of acceptance. The barrenness of winter melting away and the promise of spring on the horizon.
And on the heels of each memory of Laura came thoughts of Molly, confusing as that may be. I could be picturing Laura’s soft brown eyes, but then they’d morph in my mind to Molly’s wide, blue-green gaze. I’d hear Laura’s light laughter on a breeze, then the rhythm would transform to Molly’s infectious amusement. The changes left me in a tailspin, grasping for the comfort of the past but finding myself facing an uncertain future.
At least, an uncertain distant future. The next fourteen hours would be, I hoped, routine. I grabbed my stethoscope, pager, code pager, and a time sheet, mentally preparing for the next hour of handoffs.
Drew walked toward me, file in his hand and grin on his face. “Going nocturnal, eh, Reed?”
“And I have five days on and two off with set hours. Not to mention Feinburg can no longer treat me like I’m an idiot just because I don’t put the hospital and his demands higher than my daughter’s needs.” Okay, maybe I was a little bitter at having to take the attending’s put-downs the last few months, but it wasn’t my fault he was divorced and had a kid that wanted nothing to do with him because he was never there for his son. I wasn’t about to make the same mistake just to prove my loyalty and passion to medicine.
Drew held up his hands in surrender. “I hear ya, man. I still think you should report him. That guy has been nothing but a bully to you.”
