Page 47 of Molly
I set my phone on my thigh as Chloe neared me with the mascara wand. “Are you sure I really need that, Sweetie?”
“Trust me, Daddy.”
To Chloe, trust looked like holding still against the odds of corneal abrasions in the hopes of improved physical attractiveness. What did trust look like to me?
My fingertip traced the outline of my phone. Trust looked like being able to go to a person with a problem without even thinking about it first. I trusted Molly, but the question was, did I trust myself?
15
Molly
Calm.Cool.Collected.
I needed to focus on those threeCwords and not make my way farther down the alphabet. Like toH, handsome orI,infatuated. Not even toF, forever. There would be no more gun-jumping. Kissing Ben couldn’t have left a doubt in his mind about my feelings for him. Now the ball was in his court. I’d wait with the patience of a saint for him to make the next move.
I rolled my eyes. Apparently, I’d be spending the intervening time in a mess of mixed metaphors and horrible clichés. I lightly rapped on the front door before letting myself in. Ben and Chloe huddled together around a twenty-four-piece jumbo puzzle on the floor. He turned at the sound of my entrance, brows winging up in surprise.
Okay, yes, I’d arrived early, but notthatearly. Just early enough that if he wanted to talk about…anything…before he had to head off to work, there was time. Like, I don’t know, that he was upset that I’d lied to Chloe. Or maybe what the kiss meant to him so I’d know whether my feelings were one sided. Or even that the kiss acted like a defibrillator restarting his heart, and he’d come to the realization that he was ready to love again and wanted to explore the connection he felt with me.
Just ideas. But, you know, whatever he wanted to talk about. Because I was cool. Calm. Collected.
He rose from the ground, his blue scrubs pulling and shifting over his chest with his movements. My gaze fixed on his pectoral region for a moment as I imagined reaching out a hand and smoothing away wrinkles. My pulse accelerated.Cool, Molly.I yanked my eyes upward to meet his. Conflicting emotions flickered across his face as he regarded me, and I wanted to take a step closer and ask what he was thinking.
A couple of days ago, I would have. Conversation had flowed between us so easily. I doubted he opened up and talked about Laura much, but he had to me, and I never shared about the driving force behind my truthfulness pledge, but I had with him.
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from speaking. My mouth had gotten me in trouble before by hijacking my brain and going rogue, pressing my lips against his.Love is not self-seeking. As sure as I was that I wanted a relationship with Ben, I was equally unsure if he thought he was ready for that sort of commitment. With me.
And so I waited. Watched. Hoped.
The muscle in his cheek twitched. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Tried again. “Thank you for yesterday. With Chloe, I mean.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I admit to freaking out a bit.”
Nothing like a second crisis to distract from facing the first. If he wanted to ignore what had happened between us and focus on Chloe, I’d go along with him.
His wringing hands caught my attention. Poor, sweet guy. Did I make him nervous now?
Do not hug him, Molly.
Man, I was really on the self-talk wagon. But I didn’t. Hug him, that is. I didn’t even reach out and touch his hands, though remaining still and not offering some sort of comfort went against my internal hardwiring.
“I’m glad you knew what to ask to clear up the misunderstanding, otherwise I don’t know what I would have done.”
I brushed off his praise. “You would’ve figured it out.”
“I don’t know.” The turn of his lips held a boyish charm. “I’m a little slow on the uptake at times.”
He’s talking about Chloe, not the kiss.The man had an MD after his name. He could compute complex organic chemical reactions; he should be able to deduce from previous events between us that I was interested in him.
His phone rang and he excused himself to answer it. “Hello? Oh, hey, Suzy.”
I meandered over to Chloe and plopped down beside her. “That’s a cute squirrel.”
She held up a middle piece of the puzzle with the sides cut out. “I can’t find where this goes.”
“Let’s see.” I tilted my head toward the puzzle. She had the edges finished and was working on the middle.
“I’m not sure. I’ll ask her.” Ben lowered the phone and looked at me. “Chloe’s friend Morgan’s mom is wondering if Chloe can come over for a playdate tomorrow since it’s an in-service workday for the teachers and school is out.” His eyes rounded as he brought the phone back up to his ear. “Hey, Suzy? What about Brad?”
He nodded. “That’s good news. I’m glad he’s feeling better.” He held his hand over the bottom part of the phone and looked at me again. “Her husband had been feeling poorly but I guess it wasn’t that bad after all. Anyway, the playdate would be tomorrow morning around ten. You can say no. I know you don’t know them, so not sure if that would be awkward for you or not.”
