Page 104 of Kissing is the Easy Part
“What have you heard? Give meoneexample.”
He looks everywhere but at me. I wait. “Well, for example . . .” He lets out a reluctant sigh. “When you dated Liam Turner, he used to brag about how you let him . . . do things.”
“I didn’t even let him touch my car!” My blood boils, at Liam, at Sean, at everyone. “You know I went out with Liam to spite you. I bet you never defended me!”
“How was I supposed to defend you? You broke up with me. It was bad enough being on the same team with him. I had to listen to him bluff about how you said he was‘better.’”
The tears come fast. If anyone so much as catcalled at Sydney, Dylan would give them a ruptured spleen at the bare minimum, but Sean didn’t do anything. He onlylistened. Didn’t he tell me how he tends to avoid confrontation at all costs?
But he did specifically ask me not to go out with Liam, and I did it anyway. I remember flaunting my relationships in Sean’s face, so smug about how easily I made friends, how confident I was with boys.
Turns out they don’t necessarilylikeme.
I have a reputation. And I have no one else to blame but myself.
“I didn’t let them . . .” My voice barely rises above a whisper. “I never did any of the things that we . . . that we . . .”
“I know. I don’t care about that.”
But he does care. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have hesitated to date me in the first place. He wouldn’t have assumed I cheated. He wouldn’t be so wary about my friendships with other guys or so tense about people twisting our kiss in the storage closet into something worse.
“That’s one more flaw I bring to the table. One more thing you have to fix.”
He blinks. “What?”
The words claw their way up. “I’m sorry it humiliates you to be with me!”
His jaw clenches, and the irritation is unmistakable in his eyes. “Why are you saying this to hurt me?”
This is it. Sean hates public scenes more than anything, and nothing mortifies him like being yelled at in a crowded hallway. He won’t put up with my mess anymore. This is the day he walks away. A few steps away, people are whispering and pointing at us.
A chill runs down my spine as I wait for him to break my heart. My tears are dry, but my eyelids still burn.
He takes a step closer and wraps me in a hug. “Please don’t say things like that. I love you. I love you.”
I tremble in his arms. He says it again, his voice as firm as his embrace, and I nod. “Okay,” I whisper. “I’m fine now.”
“You sure?”
I force out a smile. “Yup. Let’s go to lunch.”
“Do you need to fix your makeup?”
He’s thoughtful, as expected.
While he waits outside, I step into the restroom to reapply my eyeliner. A wide-eyed girl in the mirror stares back at me, mascara smudged, and I almost don’t recognize her.
Everyone agrees Sean’s a great influence on me. I’m a bottle of Flora by Gucci perfume, diluted with his virtue. The same pretty packaging, the same black bow, but the content inside isn’t quite the same.
I can’t decide if that’s a blessing.
But there’s no question that I love Sean with everything I have. I love him inside and out, from his immaculate face to his kind heart and his grounded personality. I love the sweet boy he is now and the responsible man he’s becoming. I love his strength and his vulnerability, his efficiency, his practicality, and the way he always knows what to do.
The more I know him, the higher I build the pedestal I’ve placed him on. I look up so much, I never notice how small I’ve become.
When I step out, Sean smiles at me as if nothing has happened. He takes my hand as we head to the cafeteria.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I’m really sorry.”
