Page 26 of Kissing is the Easy Part
Chapter Seven
Flora
Ever since Sean and I agreed to date exclusively, I’ve been living inside a giant pink bubble. Giddy and energized, I feel like I’m drinking champagne all the time. I have no complaints. Well,almostno complaints, aside from the fact that he’s obscenely busy. Once, he even texted me saying he related to how koalas are only social for fifteen minutes a day (and that he wanted to spend all fifteen minutes with me).
Personal space is important; therefore, outside those fifteen minutes, my days are filled to the brim with things to do and people to see.
When wedomeet up, I try my best to plan the kind of date that blows his mind.
So far, to name a few, we’ve been on a hot-air balloon ride, played laser tag, cut German class to sneak off campus, and woken up at four to watch the sunrise from the top of my building.Thatwas an epic date. I prepared everything: a cashmere blanket large enough for two, rich Mayan hot chocolate infused with cinnamon and chili, a playlist of romantic songs, and a bottle of Dom Pérignon. Sean took it all in with dazed wonder, either from amazement or lack of sleep. By the time the sun came up, he’d fallen asleep against my shoulder. Next time, I’m bringing espresso.
This afternoon, though, we’re not doing anything original. We’re intertwined on my bed. His fingers skim somewhere between my sweater and my bra. Most of the time Sean wants to hear me talk, but today we’re purely primal.
He brushes at the clasp on my skirt, and I place my palm over his. Pushing an inch away from him, I sigh. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Okay.” He stops and looks at me. Sometimes I still can’t believe the cutest guy in the Pacific Northwest is lying in my bed with his shirt off.
I struggle with my words and decide on the simple truth. “I’m not a virgin.”
A few seconds later, he nods. “Okay.”
“I thought you should know.”
He rolls back a little and sits up. He gets this softness in his eyes, like he’s waiting for me to say more.
“You already know, don’t you?” I gasp. “Is that why you asked me out?”
“What? I didn’t even consider it until you brought it up. I don’t care either way.”
“Look, I’m not going to have sex with you just because I’ve already done it. In fact, the first time was so underwhelming, I’m not exactly dying to go through it again.”
He nods again.
“I mean it.”
“Flora, I like you. I’m not dating you to get laid.”
I cross my arms, tilting up my face. “So youdon’twant to have sex with me?”
“I—” His lips twitch, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to smile. “I want to so badly, you have no idea. But that’s not why I’m here. If you’re not ready, I’ll wait. I won’t assume anything.”
“Really?”
“I won’t pressure you.” Then, after a pause. “I mightencourageyou to, though, and I can be very persuasive when I want to be.”
I chuckle. Sean always delivers his jokes deadpan, but he never fails to make me laugh.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He picks up his hoodie and throws it on. Alas. The dark pine-green fabric falls and covers his flat stomach. “Was that your last relationship?”
“It’s not a cute story like yours.” I comb a hand through my hair. “Do you know Zach Powell? He graduated last year?”
“He’s an asshole.”
“We hooked up once when I turned sixteen. My first and only time.” I stare down at my hands, tracing the edge of my nail with my thumb. “I thought I was ready, and I said yes, but then it wasn’t what I imagined. The sex wasn’t bad or anything, but there wasn’t any connection. I felt like I was just trying to get it over with. And afterward, I felt sort of empty. Like, that’s it? That’s what everyone’s been talking about?” The words tighten in my throat. “What hurt wasn’t the act itself, it was that he couldn’t wait to tell everyone. I mean,everyone. I was a headline.”
I try to swallow the burn rising in my chest, pushing it down with a weak laugh. “The most exciting event of the season. Really kept school life entertaining for everyone.” I glance up, half daring Sean to judge me. “You’ve probably heard about it, too, right?”
“I don’t pay attention to gossip.” There’s a shining light of affection in his eyes as he strokes my hair. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
