Page 71 of Kissing is the Easy Part
“I don’t know. I like you but I’m also afraid of you.”
“Afraid of what?”
That you’ll hurt me.But I don’t say it, because there’s nothing in her eyes I recognize. This can’t be the same girl who wrapped her arms around my neck earlier, kissing me like she meant it. I was so sure there was a connection. “I don’t understand. Did I imagine everything?”
“What did you imagine?” There’s a hardness in her that seems to feed on my humiliation.
“I thought the past few weeks meant something to you too. It felt like we were getting closer, and I thought—maybe I’m wrong—but I thought you might . . . you might feel the same way.”
Her expression remains blank. I bite my lip and wait, knowing she isn’t going to grant me a good night’s sleep. Her silence isn’t the good kind, and with each passing second, the heat of mortification rises more in my chest.
What did I do wrong? Please, just tell me.
But I have to let her off the hook. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I’m not asking for anything. I just want you to know how I feel.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t comfort me. “Good night, Sean. Get some sleep.”
Then she speeds off into the night. The party isn’t the only thing that’s ended tonight.
* * *
Being ignored by Flora is somehow worse than breaking up with her a year ago. Back then it was ripping off a bandage with brutal force. This time, it’s a dull ache that sinks into my bones. I tried talking to her all week after the party, but she radiates an air of icy indifference. Every text I send is left on Read.
Since she stops sitting with me in our corner at lunch, I’ve been joining Josie instead.
“J,hypothetically, if I’d been flirting with a girl, and after we kissed and I told her I liked her, she laughed and started avoiding me, that means I should back off, right?”
She stops in the middle of peeling open her sandwich wrapper. “Sean Everett Foster, you’re a horrible friend. You don’t tell me anything!”
“Come on, I’m telling you now.”
“I’m not helping unless you tell me all the details. You only talk to me when you need someone to play live at your party.”
“That’s not true. I talk to you when I need to borrow money too.”
“Is it Flora?” She squints at me. “It’s Flora.”
I shrug.
“I knew it!” Josie slams her hand on the table before taking a bite of her sandwich. “Wait, hold up. A lot of things are starting to make sense. No wonder it’s been eternal sunshine in Floraland lately.”
“What does that mean?”
“She’s chirpy all the time. I thought it was because she liked planning the party, but now I get it. She was planning it withyou. Tell me the situation one more time. Don’t leave anything out.”
I tell her everything I can think of, with her interrupting every two sentences. “She says she was only talking to me because we were working on our history presentation and Lindsey’s party. Now that they’re over, she has no reason to ‘desperately hunt me down for conversations.’”
“I have a pretty good idea what this is about.” For some reason Josie thinks she knows so much more about relationships than I do. “She needs more reassurance because you were horrible to her.”
“What?” I draw a sharp breath. “What haveIever done toher?”
“You were so hard on her. You broke up with her after she threwonetantrum. She was devastated! That relationship was pretty one-sided if you ask me. You took her for granted.”
“You don’t know the whole story, J.”
“Yep, and why do you think that is?” She jabs a finger into my shoulder.
“Anyway, at the time, it felt like the right decision, but now I’m not sure anymore. I was—am—crazy about Flora.”
