Page 69 of Kissing is the Easy Part
I miss everything about it. I miss this so much I almost catch a sob rising. The weight of wanting him is unbearable, and I realize how sad I’ve been, how much I’ve wanted him, how much Istillwant him. I’ve been desperate to use my wish this way, hoping it’ll remind him of us.
His hand moves to the small of my back and rests there, burning a patch on my skin, while his other hand runs through my hair, tugging at it, and then he pulls me in close.
I wrap my arms around his neck, struggling against the wave of nostalgia as the memory of our first kiss overlaps with this one.
He pulls me in even closer until my body is pressed tight against him.
I hate how much I still like him. I wish I never had to stop kissing him. The past few weeks we’ve worked together have been the happiest I’ve been in a long time.
And then it hits me. I can never win with Sean. It’s a battle I’m bound to lose, and if I continue this stupid heartbreak operation, I’ll only end up hurting myself. I can’t control him, and I can’t make him feel the way I do.
Why is revenge not all it’s cracked up to be?
It’s not satisfying, just empty. Instead of bringing closure, all it does is create more pain and confusion.
So I push him away. “Thanks, that’s enough,” I croak, my throat tight. “Glad to know your technique hasn’t gotten rusty.”
He stares at me, dazed, lips parted slightly, waiting to be kissed again.
“That’s one wish done and one more to go,” I say. “I let you off pretty easy, don’t you think?”
A shadow of sadness crosses his face like a cloud drifting through daylight. “Flora . . . why?”
“We’d better get back to the party.”
He reaches for my wrist, blocking me. “Tell me why you wanted this.”
“I’ll let you know what else you need to do.”
With that, I push past him and leave.
* * *
“Did you really expect him to fall in love with you after one kiss?” Madison hisses after I pull her aside and fill her in. “He’s not a Disney princess. He really hurt you and you’re letting him do it all over again.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
Even though I have absolutely no idea anymore. This was supposed to be simple. Make him fall for me, then crush him like he crushed me. The end. Except this is the kind of movie that insists on a twist no one asked for.
“Sean has a powerful effect on you. I’ll never understand your obsession, but let’s admit he’s an admirable opponent and drop this before it’s too late,” she says. “He’s not worth this much of your headspace. You might be using this revenge thing as an excuse to spend time with him.”
The truth stings. Maybe that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. A weak justification to be around him, to feel close to him again, only to fail miserably as I fall for him.
“After the first bout ofSean-itis,I’ve got immunity now.” I pick up a cupcake from the side table and inspect the frosting.
“Whatever you say, honey. You’re too soft for the malicious revenge game. By the way, this turned out well, right?” Madison nods at one wall of the living room.
Several black-and-white photos are hanging there, and it’s undeniable that Daniel knows what he’s doing. Lindsey smiles like a movie star in her portrait, and the room now resembles a sophisticated photo gallery. There’s also an absurd number of photos of Madison, filling up an outrageous amount of space, of which she says, “Hey, Dan’s the artist, he decides what looks good up there.” She points. “There’s one of you too.”
A small picture, about one-tenth of the size of the other portraits, is tucked into the corner.
It’s of Sean and me in the cafeteria, sitting together. My head is thrown back and I’m laughing, mouth opened ridiculously wide and showing far too many teeth. Sean’s as handsome on film as in real life, and he’s gazing at me with unguarded affection. A tolerant smile tugs at his lips that seems to say,I don’t know what to do with you, but please stay the way you are.
I’m speechless.
If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.
Chapter Twenty-four
