Page 61 of Violet Thistlewaite Is Not a Villain Anymore
He could never have planned for this,wouldnever have wanted to plan for it, but perhaps unexpected bumps in the road didn’t have to be a bad thing. Perhaps change could lead to good as well as bad, and he could adapt more easily than he gave himself credit for if he just gave himself the space to pivot and explore. He’d spent so much time focused on everything he was getting wrong, it never struck Nathaniel how much he had gotten right.
Nathaniel’s thoughts buzzed as he shut the apothecary for the night. He locked the doors, closed the blinds, and updated his ledgers as quickly as he could, all while a different type of energy built within him, one that flowed like fire through his veins as he extinguished the lamps and strode out the back door.
Nathaniel had never been the type of person who wanted togloat over his victories. He’d always kept the particulars of his life tidy and private—even Pru had to drag information from him. But Violet didn’t make him feel like she would judge or gossip or pander; she made him feelheard, andsafe, and a number of other words Nathaniel would have scoffed at only weeks ago. He wanted to share his news with her.
He opened the door to the greenhouse, and there she was, the warm lamplight from her worktable painting her hair with streaks of gold. Her greeting cut off as he strode purposefully toward her, bypassing his own half of the greenhouse.
“Are you alright?” she asked instead, cocking her head.
“Never better,” he said honestly, and swept her up into his arms, lifting her off her feet in a tight embrace that made her squeal with laughter. He pressed his nose into the waves of her hair as he swung her around, smelling that blackberry-and-almond scent that meant he’d interrupted her doing magic, no doubt preparing bouquets for tomorrow morning.
“I did it,” he said without bothering to mask his joy. “I put the Sweet Dreams Elixir on our shelves, and I’m going to sell more alchemical medicines in the apothecary. It’s really happening.”
“That’s wonderful.” She laughed again and pressed a hand to his cheek, thumb grazing his stubble. He leaned into her touch. “Nathaniel, I’m so happy for you. I want to hear everything.”
“I’ve got so many ideas,” he told her, setting her back on her feet, though he didn’t let go of her waist. Her hands settled at his shoulders as he explained his inventions. A lotion to encourage hair growth. A tincture that straightened crooked teeth. A powder that ensured new shoes would not give the wearer blisters. “They aren’t life-changing cures and medicines, but they’re a start. And it’s all thanks to you.”
“Certainly not.” She beamed at him. “Youinvented these.”
“But I’d never have done anything with them if you hadn’ttalked sense into me.” He drew a deep breath. “Violet, I’ve been an idiot. I’ve spent so long worried about repeating past mistakes and maintaining my parents’ legacy I didn’t consider the legacy thatIwant to leave. WhoIwant to be. You helped me see that. You helped me be brave enough to take the risk.” His gaze roamed her face, drinking in her wide eyes and long lashes, those thick brows and bow-shaped lips separated by that scar. She was perfect, his flower witch, and he needed her to know it.
“And in the interest of taking risks,” he said, before he could convince himself not to, “I need to tell you something.”
She took in the change in his expression, pulling her lip between her teeth in a way that made him want to bite it himself.Easy, Nathaniel.
“I meant every word I said the other night.” His voice rasped as he told her, “I find you incredible, Violet Thistlewaite.”
Her breath caught in her throat.
“The notes back and forth, our conversation at the window, last night in your kitchen, that kiss—” He cut himself off, suddenly nervous, but nothing done by halves, he supposed. “I care for you, Violet. More than I ever intended. If you tell me you don’t feel the same, I will understand. But with the way we left things, I wanted to—”
“But I do,” she said, and his heart stuttered in his chest. “I do feel the same.”
“Oh.” Nathaniel took the small smile she showed him, held it in his chest, and let it warm him like a fire on a wintry night. He knew, then, that she was scared too. His thumbs brushed small circles over the fabric of her waistline, urging her to talk to him.
“Nathaniel, I’m not good at this.” He watched Violet swallow her words and commanded himself to pay attention to what she was saying instead of closing the space between them to press his lips to the place where her throat met her collarbone. “I’m terrifiedI won’t be able to be the person you think I am. I don’t want to ruin everything.”
He ducked his head to catch her gaze. “Someone very wise and lovely once said that without risk, there can be no hope of change.”
She narrowed her eyes, looking at him sidelong. “Has anyone ever told you it’s incredibly rude to use someone’s words against them?”
“I’ll make a note of it.” He dared to move closer, and trailed a hand up her arm until his fingers brushed her neck, then her jaw.Shewas terrified? He wondered if she could hear the way his heart staggered in his chest. Nathaniel had been brave today—perhaps it would prove contagious. “All I know is that I feel lighter than I have in a long time, andyouare the person I want to share that with.”
She dropped her head to his collarbone as she huffed out a breathy laugh he could feel against his skin.
“And besides,” Nathaniel continued, tipping her chin back up so she was looking at him, “I’ve recently become somewhat of an expert in taking risks.”
He took the biggest one of all, then, and lowered his mouth to hers.
Magic
Nathaniel cupped her face in his palms like water and drank from her lips all the words she had said in their notes and under cover of moonlight, as well as a few she hadn’t yet. Violet gasped, feeling again that great intake of breath from deep within her, the delicate sprouting of an emotion she’d only just dared to expose to sunlight.
This was not a kiss. It was comprehension.
“Is this alright?” he murmured against her mouth.
“Yes,” she sighed, and never had she meant the word so much. “Yes.”
