Page 24 of Bully's Darkness
“Why do you do that?” she asks. “Assume I don’t want to talk about it, like it’s some shameful secret.”
I gasp. “Bria, that’s not what I meant.”
“You’re just like Mum. It’s why I moved out of there. I was raped, Livvy. I’m not ashamed. I did nothing wrong.”
I jump up, joining her on her bed. “I know you didn’t. I’m sorry if I’m getting it all wrong.”
“We don’t talk about it because you were sad that Bully went to prison. It all happened so fast. The trial, and then Bully getting arrested and charged . . . and then Pearce dying.” She stares down into her lap. “And now, Bully’s out and you’re still sad.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Oh god, I’ve made it about me.”
“No,” she’s quick to say. “I just never brought it up because I didn’t want to make things worse between you.”
“I remember leaving the police station and taking you home,” I say. “And once you’d fallen to sleep, I went to see Bully.”
“I didn’t know that,” she says, frowning.
“I never told anyone. I was so upset with his reaction, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you.”
“When he didn’t believe?”
I nod. “He dropped my hand like it was a hot poker, shaking his head and telling me I was wrong, that Pearce wouldn’t do that.” I wipe my tears, feeling shame wash over me. “I should’ve dumped him there and then. I didn’t and I’ve spent years thinking about the way he reacted, resentment building inside me.”
Bria takes my hands in hers and smiles sympathetically. “Pearce was his brother. He didn’t want to believe what he was capable of, but in the end, he saw the truth.”
“And then he ruined the trial.”
She nods. “He did. And I was mad too. But things worked out. Pearce is dead. He can’t hurt anyone else.”
“But he didn’t pay. Not really.”
“He took a pretty good beating. The thought of spending life in a wheelchair was too much for him, so he took his own life. I call that a win.”
“I’m so angry,” I admit.
“At the wrong person.”
“What? You’re telling me you don’t blame the club for everything?”
She shrugs. “I did, at first. Therapy helped me deal with it, and now, I can see it’s only Pearce who’s to blame. He’s not here, so I have to let it go or it’ll eat me alive. Besides, Bully is in charge now. Things might be different.”
“I want a normal life. I want kids and a house.”
“Can’t you have all that with Bully?”
I shrug. “I guess I feel bad,” I admit. “Shacking up with my sister’s rapist’s brother.”
“He was your boyfriend before Pearce was my rapist.” She offers a little smile. “For what it’s worth, I think Bully does love you. He just needs to learn to treat you with the respect you deserve.”
“Everything about him is wrong for me.”
She grins. “But he feels so right?” I nod, and she laughs. “Then stop punishing yourself and him. Give him a chance to be what you need. He’s had five years to grow up. You just have to get to know one another again.”
Bully
I take my seat in church. “Smiler, tell me you have something.”
He nods, smiling wide and showing his ear-to-ear scar. “Yes, Pres. Dagger was from the London faction of his club. He was the VP and then decided to start his own chapter here in Nottingham. He was married, but there’s no record of her being here with him, so I didn’t look into her. She seems irrelevant. His VP goes by the name Bullet, on account of his favourite murder weapon.” He rolls his eyes. “The other members are OGs, no one younger than fifty by the looks of things. They’re recruiting for prospects, so they want to expand. Their main income is drugs. I’m looking into storage units to see if they’re shipping in or if they have grow farms around. Something tells me weed is too small-time for them, although the market is thriving in Nottingham.”
