Page 117 of Everything Has Changed
“I always thought you were cute,” I say.
She snorts, her eyes glancing away from me for a moment before they come back. “Cute is exactly how I wanted you to see me.”
“Gwen, I—” I reach out for her, but she pushes my hand away.
“Let me get this out. Please.” She nibbles her lower lip. “I knew I didn’t stand a chance after you got back together with her, but I still cheered for you at every game. Stopped by every practice. Always tried to talk to you at the parties you would go to. But you wouldn’t give me the time of day. I got it. I was, again, your friend’s little sister. And I was nobody compared to Camila.”
“That’s not true,” I say quickly. She quirks her lips at my rush of words, shrugging them away.
“That’s what I thought back then. Mainly because even though you didn’t see me, she did. And she took every chance to remind me that you were hers and I never stood a chance.”
I furrow my brow. “I was so focused on getting out of town. It wasn’t you or her. It was me.”
“I guess I get that now, but teenage me took it personally.” Crossing her arms over her chest, her foot digs into the ground as she collects her thoughts. “I let it go, though. But when you came back the following year for graduation, I was so excited because I thought for sure you would see me and realize.”
The memory pops into my head. “We ran into each other at the diner.”
“Yeah. I was with Piper, and you were with Camila and her friends. You asked if I was going to Zach Martin’s graduation party, which I took as you wanting me there. Naively. Now I see it was just you being nice.”
I wrack my brain, trying to remember exactly what I said to her, but I can’t recall anymore than seeing her red hair and how beautiful I thought she was even then.
“Then you texted me.”
“I don’t remember a lot from that day, but I know I didn’t text you.”
“I know, Logan. It wasn’t you. I realized later that night, after I went to the spot you asked me to meet you at, that it was Camila. I thought you finally noticed me, but it was just your girlfriend reminding me yet again I wasn’t good enough for you. Her and her friends cornered me behind Zach’s house, tossed their drinks on me, and forced me to leave in front of everyone.”
All the blood drains from my face. “Oh my God.”
“I always wondered if you knew, but it’s not like I ever talked to you again. I let my crush die that night for good. Told myself you weren’t worth it. That you were going to do so much better than me and this town. That it would always be Camila. Then you came back, and it was like the last few years never mattered. Because I was back to crushing on Logan Spencer from the moment that I laid eyes on you again. But I told myself I wouldn’t let it grow into anything. That you and I were never a good match, anyway. A harmless crush is fine, but…”
“But everything changed,” I finished for her. “Gwen, baby, I promise I will fix this.” I try for her hand one more time. This time she lets me take it. I take a slow step toward her, and when she doesn’tretreat, I meet her right where she stands. “You and I are meant to be. I know it, you know it.”
She sniffles, placing a hand on my hand softly. The warmth of her skin seeps through my shirt and goes straight to my heart.
“Logan, we have to be realistic. This was never going to work. We had a good time, but we both know what it really was.” She pats my chest three times. “Now that the festival is over, you get to prepare to take your place in Town Hall and I will stay in my cafe. Atleast, I hope so. Do what you have to do, Logan. Be the best mayor this town needs.”
“Why does this sound like a breakup, Gwen?” I cup her cheek with my palm. She leans into it, her green eyes looking directly into mine.
“Can we even call it that? This is just us realizing we are better off just friends.”
I shake my head quickly. “No. That’s bullshit, Gwen, and you know it.”
“The only thing I know is that I can’t throw away everything I have worked so hard for. Everything my family has helped me with. You are…” Her eyes close briefly before opening back up, a fresh sheen of tears coating them, “incredible. And I have loved every moment we had together. But we both know you have some things you need to handle.”
“Will you wait for me while I handle them?”
She tips her lips up in a wobbly smile. “You know that’s not fair, Logan. Because I can’t make you promise the same thing. You have whatever you have with Camila. I can’t sit back and watch you play happy couple with her.”
“But it’s fake. Just a show for my father until I can figure out a way out from under him.”
“It’s still not fair.” Her voice cracks on a sob, and I can’t take the space anymore. So I pull her to me. Crushing her against my chest. She must need this too because I can feel her hands clawing at my back. We hold each other for a long time until she finally pulls back. When she faces me again, she reaches up on her tiptoes and plants a chaste kiss on my lips. But that’s not enough. Nothing will ever be enough when it comes to Gwendolyn unless it’s forever.
I place my hand on the side of her neck, gripping just enough to get her attention, to let her see what I wanted. I give her the chance to pull away if she wants, but she doesn’t.
In a rough meeting of our lips, I pour all of my feelings into her from my kiss. Slanting her in the direction I need her to devour her lips; to trace my tongue against hers, to clash together so she knows how I feel since I can’t say it right now. We both fight for the lead. Our hands clawing and gripping at each other, wherever we can reach. If this is going to be our last kiss, at least for now, then dammit it’s going to last.
By the time we come up for air, her lips are swollen and glossy, and I wish more than anything to dive right back in. To show her exactly what I feel for her along every inch of her body. She must she it on my face, because she places both hands on my chest and gently pushes me back.
