Page 45 of Chasing Wildflowers
I lean against the counter, the cool edge digging into my palms as I watch the dark liquid drip into the pot.My head feels foggy, the air in the kitchen too still. I pour a mug, fix it the way I like, and turn to stare at the flowers.
Jameson isn’t going to make letting him go easy, but it’s the right thing to do. For both of us. You can’t build a relationship, when one of you is hiding a dark secret, and I’m not willing to reveal mine. I can’t. It could very well cost me my life if I did.
Killing Byron was my only option. He wasn’t going to let me leave. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he was going to kill me that night. But that doesn’t mean everyone would see it that way, that the police would see it that way. Especially with the donations they receive from Byron’s family.
The front door opens, and Kam’s voice floats in. “Lane?” she calls cautiously.
So he did call her after all. I inwardly groan. It would be great if he weren’t so damn perfect.
“In the kitchen,” I call back, setting my coffee cup on the counter behind me, bracing for the hurricane that is my best friend.
She flies into the kitchen, straight for me, arms wrapping around me tightly. I hold onto her, sinking into her comfort.
I really am okay.Mostly.
Yes, Luke rattled me, but I’m not the same scared woman I was. I was fighting back, and I knew Jameson was on his way.
Jameson.
A few tears fall, landing on Kam’s sweatshirt. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over him but I can’t hold back the tears. The pain of losing him sits heavy in my chest.
Kam pulls back, her eyes racking over my face. “Are you okay? Jameson called me.”
“Yes and no.” I pull away from her embrace, wiping at the tears. Grabbing my coffee off the counter, I walk around the island, sliding onto one of the stools.
I lean my elbows against the counter, coffee cup tucked between my palms, the warmth doing nothing to warm the cold void I feel inside. Kam eyes me cautiously as she grabs a cup from the cabinet and pours her own coffee.
She says nothing until she slips onto the stool beside me, mirroring my posture. “How do you seem fine right now? Jameson said you were sobbing last night, and you kicked him out this morning.”
I shrug, my voice coming out drained and defeated. “I’ve been through worse, and I made it out.” I take a sip of my coffee, and blow out a breath. “Luke was just being a drunk asshole. I would have fought him off, or someone would have come in. Besides, I knew Jameson was on his way."
“Plus, I know he won’t bothers me again after Chip is through with him. Maybe I should be more upset than I am about what he did, but I’m okay. It’s not the same to me. Luke won’t get away with what he did. He has Chip to deal with on top of the beating Jameson gave him.”
“If you are okay, then why isn’t Jameson here? Why did you kick him out?”
I stare down at my coffee, thumb slowly tracing over the rim. “He somehow knows something happened in my past. That I was abused.”
Kam sets her cup down, with a soft clink, turning to look at me fully. “Why are you so afraid of him knowing?” Her voice softens. “He’s not your ex, Lane. Don’t let your past ruin your chance at something really great. You deserve to be happy.”
I nod my head, a single tear sliding down my face as her words settle into my soul, leaving me more unsure than ever.
Kam spends the day with me on the couch, watching our favorite rom-coms, surrounded by empty candy wrappers and takeout containers. She doesn’t bring up Jameson again or what happened with Luke. She doesn’t try to ‘fix it’. Instead, she’s just there, solid and steady. And sometimes that’s exactly what you need.
After Kam leaves, I crawl into bed, the same bed Jameson held me in just this morning. His scent still lingers on the sheets, masculine and all him. He deserves better than how I treated him, but I also need time to work through my feelings on my own.
I grip my phone in my shaky hands, thumbs hovering over the screen. Straightening my shoulders I type a message I should have sent hours ago.
Lane
I’m sorry I acted the way I did. I just need some time.
His response comes through immediately, almost as if he’s been sitting with his phone in his hand, waiting to hear from me. My heart squeezes.
Jameson
I’m not going anywhere, Wildflower.
Seconds later another text comes through.
