Page 74 of Unruly
“But now I think perhaps this is the time. When two men can be together in such ways without fear of persecution or discovery. Don’t take it for granted, Borja.”
“Good perspective, but do you want to hear my take?”
“Yes.”
“You were born exactly when you were supposed to be born. You died and entered a new phase of life that ultimately broughtour paths together. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise, and regardless of what happens next, I’m fucking proud to be the man who got to experience this with you for the first time.”
A shy smile pulls at his lips. “Thank you for saying that.”
“I mean it.”
“I know. I’ve learned you only say things you mean.”
Brushing my fingers across his cheek, I lean down and kiss his soft lips. “What if you…” I stop myself, shaking my head. What am I even thinking?
“Yes?”
“Nothing. Sex brain. Makes you say crazy things.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your happy chemicals are off the charts right now. It’s easy to say things you shouldn’t.”
Farnsworth’s brow creases. “Like what?”
“Like I can’t tell you because I shouldn’t.”
“That’s silly after what we just shared.”
Chuckling, I nod. “That’s fair.” Maybe I should just ask, and he’ll shoot it down and then I can put it out of my mind.
“Borja.”
“Well, I was thinking, after this mission is done, could you visit me? Or could I visit you?”
“Visit?”
“I like you, Farnsworth. A lot. I think you like me. I was wondering if we could ever see each other again.”
He stares at me like I just suggested we steal the moon. That’s my answer, then. He doesn’t want to see me again after this. I’ll be little more than a memory to him.
“Sorry. I told you I shouldn’t have said it. You don’t have to answer. I can take a hint.”
“I don’t know what you mean. What hint?”
“Sometimes no answer is an answer.” I start to climb out of bed. “We should clean up. Do you need water or anything?”
“Borja.”
“I didn’t mean to make it awkward.”
He climbs out of bed too, and I brace myself for the impending brush-off.
“Borja,” he says again, dragging his hand down my arm. “I didn’t answer because I was surprised. Your question was unexpected. I suppose I was under the impression that you thought this was… a passing fancy. Do you really think you’d like to see me again?”
The answer swells inside my chest, pushing its way to the surface. “Yes.”
A hint of a smile tugs at his lips. “Well, I suppose it can be discussed.”
