“Know what, Farns?”
“I don’t really enjoy that nickname.”
He chuckles. “Noted. What do you want to tell me?”
“I’ve had limited experience. Romantically, I mean. It’s been a long time, as well. Centuries, in fact. I was simply too busy, you see, and it’s complicated for a Chaser and certainly for a guide to pursue romance.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And when I was living the first time, it was… frowned upon to love men.”
“I understand.”
“There was Sebastian though. He was visiting from Spain. We… We…”
“Did you hook up?”
I shake my head. “We kissed.” It feels scandalous to admit it even now. “And I touched him.”
“What was that like for you?”
“Incredible. It was the most amazing moment of my life up to that point. He left the next day and I never saw him again.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.”
“He was the only soul who knew my secret. I was expected to marry, have a family, work with my father.”
“Were you ever married?”
I shake my head. “I died.”
“How? Do you remember?”
“Not without consulting my records.” I flick my wrist to call up my file. I open it up, gazing at the yellowed page with my name on it. “FMR12. That was my Chaser assignment number.Farnsworth Michel Renard. I died in 1603 at the age of twenty-seven.” I glance up at Borja, who is hanging on my words. “Shot in the market but I wasn’t the intended target.”
“Dude. Seriously?”
A vague memory comes back to me, as distant as another life, but just clear enough to grab onto. “I was there, looking at the fruit selection, when a dog appeared at my feet, whimpering and hungry. I led the dog to the butcher and bought it a sausage. I was petting the little chap when a commotion started. People were screaming and I saw a young girl standing alone and crying for her dog. I led the dog to her, but on the way, heat pierced my heart. A man stood behind the girl, his gun raised and smoking. It was the last thing I saw before I fell to the ground.”
“Farns. That’s awful.”
“I heard the girl crying and the dog whimpering over me. I heard people screaming my name and calling for my father. I heard men chasing the shooter, and then I heard nothing at all.”
“But then you were made a Chaser?”
“Yes. Though it was a much different program than it is now. Eventually, it was decided that there should be a guide and some level of order and organization. We have so many now. I applied for the position. I thought it an honor.”
“Do you still?”
“Absolutely. What we do is necessary and good.” I exhale slowly. “I think I’m actually tired.”
“Come to bed with me, Farns.”
I still don’t like that nickname, but I don’t have it in me to object again. Sleeping in his bed sounds rather nice. Even though it doesn’t mean anything. This is nothing but a hookup, a temporary reprieve, an enjoyable experience. Tomorrow we’ll go back to our professional arrangement.
I stand and Borja grabs my wrist, pulling me into him. “Hope you don’t mind, but I’m a cuddler.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”