Page 86 of Napkins and Other Distractions
“It’s Sweetums. He always sleeps with me,” he murmurs.
“I can’t sleep with an animal.”
“Vincent, here’s the issue … ” Kent’s voice sounds slightly more awake. “If I shoo him out of the room, he’ll cry and paw at the door all night. If we let him stay, I promise he won’t move from the foot of the bed. He’s a good boy.”
My belly stirs with Kent’s “good boy,” and I take a breath, attempting to return to the euphoric afterglow I was experiencing moments ago.
“Okay.”
I snuggle into Kent, doing my best to ignore the creature on the bed. Lying on his chest, I’m able to drift off, the sounds of Kent Lester’s low breathing lulling me to sleep.
Cracking one eye, the sunrise bleeds through Kent’s blinds, but something blocks my view. It’s the cat. Sweetums. He’s sitting six inches from my face. Staring at me with giant yellow eyes.
CHAPTER 28
Kent
“Have you given leather any more thought?”
Ruth’s words cause a temporary lapse in my balance, my body jerks, and I stumble on the track. She grabs my arm as I catch myself.
“Easy, easy,” she soothes. “It’s just a suggestion. Don’t plotz.”
“Do you remember every Yiddish word and phrase I say?”
“Are you shepping naches?” she asks and then giggles, head back, her face brighter than the sun.
“Yes, Ruth, I am impressed and proud of you.” Truly, her ability and desire to integrate a plethora of Yiddish into her lexicon amazes me.
“Anyway, you’d look great in leather. A harness.”
“A what?” I ask, reestablishing my balance on the bouncy track. The cold is back, and frigid March air fills my lungs, but the bright, direct sun attempts to warm my keppie.
“A harness. It stretches across your chest and wraps around your neck.” She motions with her hands. “So fucking hot. It gives your partner something to grab on to.” Ruth latches her arm in mine, perhaps to keep me upright. “They make fabric ones, but a leather harness on that furry dad bod—you’d make Vincent’s eyes explode.”
“Excuse me, how do you know the ins and outs of leather harnesses?”
Ruth’s eyes roll up so far, I’m convinced she’s exploring the recesses of her own brain.
“I have two. Black and purple. Sarah adored them. Whips and leashes too. A little light bondage play can really crank up the pilot light.”
“Whips? Leashes?” My mind races to put the pieces together. “Is there anything you don’t know about?”
“My friend. Lesbians know about … well, everything. It’s a fact.”
“Okay, fair. Fair,” I say, patting her back. There really isn’t much she doesn’t know. She even changed my oil once. “But what? How?”
Another eye roll, and Ruth pats my arm. “Kent, Kent, Auntie Ruth will take care of you.”
“But where would I even—”
“The internet. Kent Lester, you can literally buy anything on the internet. Where do you think I bought my Gina Gershon pillowcase?” She taps my arm affectionately. “I’ll come to your office at lunch. We can shop together. I need a new strap-on harness.”
“A what?”
She erupts into laughter, pats my back, and hooks her arm in mine. Once again, I find myself asking what I’m getting myself into.
“Poppy!” Lia leaps into my embrace and wraps her arms around my neck.
