Page 106 of Bleed the Shadows
Then there had been no more time to fuck around — no pun intended — because Rafe, Nolan, and Jude were expecting us and we still had gear to prep.
Maeve did a bunch of nervous cooking even though the fridge and freezer were already overflowing with Christmas leftovers, and we went through the gear in the living room, counting Kevlar, checking the weapons, making sure we had enough ammo.
Then Poe loaded everything into to the Hummer and we ate leftover turkey sandwiches with Maeve at the dining room table, the Christmas lights casting a glow over the room.
When we finished eating, we gathered the last of our gear and turned to Maeve, who was standing by the top of the stairs with her arms folded over her chest.
I’d set the knife she’d given me for Christmas on the dining room table, and I picked it up to take with me. I hoped I got to use it. Rafe and his friends had high-powered weapons — and we had a few of those too — but it would be fitting to end the man who’d caused Maeve so much pain with the knife.
I was surprised when she took it from my hands and pressed the blade against her palm.
“No.” I held onto her wrist to stop her. “We bleed for you.”
She sliced the knife across her palm. Blood rushed to the surface of her skin and she lifted her hand to smear it on my cheek.
“I bleed for you too.”
Her blood was warm on my face as she did the same to Poe and Remy, wiping her blood on one of their cheeks, kissing the other.
She wiped the blade of the knife on her sweatshirt and handed it back to me.
I took it and pulled her into my arms. “We’ll be back.”
“You better.”
We left her at the top of the stairs. I could feel her gaze as we disappeared into the shadows of the first floor.
I didn’t look back.
66
MAEVE
I didn’t cry.Not even after they were gone. I’d cried all my tears for June, and whether I liked it or not, Ethan Todd was part of the pact I’d made with the Butchers. He was as intertwined with our relationship as he was with my memories of June, a specter shadowing my life and everything in it, including the Butchers.
I’d felt a vacuum in Bram when I’d met him, knew everyone else felt it too, could tell by the way they gave him a wide berth on the street, the way they pretended he wasn’t there.
But I knew now that the vacuum at Bram’s center wasn’t a black hole to be afraid of: it was the eye of a storm, quiet and still, a refuge from everything else that had torn my life apart.
Ethan Todd had a vacuum too, but his was a dark and malevolent force, an emptiness that poisoned, that killed everything good in its path. The world would be a better place without him.
It wasn’t a realization I’d come to lightly. Who was I to decide?
But he’d decided for June, for all the women he claimed were nothing but toys to be used and controlled. And there were too many men out there who were just lonely and confused enough— like Chris — to listen. Too many women trying to make them feel better — like June — at their own expense.
The world had gone dark and quiet after June’s murder. Chris had snuffed out the light in her eyes. Now there was no June to squeal over every dog, even the ugly ones. There was no June to paint the world with her too-muchness. There would be no little Junes someday, no little girls like she’d been who would leave chaos in their wake and somehow make the world seem better for it.
The world would be brighter without Ethan Todd. I was sure of it, and I was willing to accept the burden of making that decision.
Ray whined from his new bed in the living room, like he knew what I was thinking.
“It’s okay, boy.” I took a deep breath. “It’s okay.”
He followed me upstairs and lay on the bed while I cleaned up my hand. I’d gotten used to the way he followed me around like a shadow and I could hardly remember what it had been like before he’d been part of my life.
You’d love him, I thought, hoping June could hear.
I love you, M.
