Page 7 of Bleed the Shadows
But it hadn’t been only that. I’d wanted to step closer, run my hands up his bare chest, over the ink I hadn’t gotten a good look at in the dark kitchen the night of our aborted fucking.
I’d wanted to feel his big arms around me, wanted to slide my fingers into his dark hair, wanted to slice his knife across my own palm, mark him as mine the way he’d marked me.
I felt this absence now that he’d returned to the other side of the room and I hated myself for it. Hated myself for letting him make me soft and weak and small.
Like June had been with Chris before he’d killed her.
Wow, M, tell me how you really feel.
I took a deep breath, forced myself to exhale slowly. I needed to focus on the Hunt. Needed to focus on winning.
Be quiet, June. Let me think.
I didn’t need June in my head. Not now when the Hunt was about to start.
I’d half expected Bram to kick me out before the Hunt started. After all, I hadn’t fulfilled my full ninety days at the loft after the last Hunt, although I had left the Butchers enough food to cover the whole term.
Now I didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified that I was about to begin another twenty-four hours in the tunnels under Blackwell Falls. If I made it to the end without getting caught, the Butchers would have to do me the solid of taking out Ethan Todd.
But if they caught me — again — I’d be back in the loft for another ninety days.
My stomach churned at the thought. Because honestly? I wasn’t sure I could survive another ninety days with the three men who dominated my dreams.
It had sounded so simple the first time around: keep to myself, feed the bottomless pits that were Poe and Bram, and make daily smoothies and macro-specific food that would satisfy Remy’s absurd nutritional requirements.
But the situation had been anything but simple, and I had no one to blame but myself. What had I expected after I’d fucked Poe and Remy? After I’d let myself want Bram when he’d made it clear (more than once) that I was nothing to him?
Now I was standing across from twenty-one terrifyingly huge men in masks, and the thing that scared me the most was having to spend three more months with Poe, Remy, and Bram. Not because they’d hurt me, but because I knew I’d hurt myself, batter myself against their hard surfaces and cut myself open on their sharp edges until I bled out on the expensive carpets that were layered over the loft’s polished concrete floors.
The Barbarian who’d bolted the door pulled out his cell phone. “You’ll get a three-minute head start.”
I edged toward the door like I’d done the first time. But this time was different.
This time I was really ready.
The Barbarian held up his phone. “Ready, set… run.”
And then I was off, sprinting into the darkness, leaving behind the light.
6
MAEVE
This time I was prepared.I plunged into the blackness without hesitation, inhaling the familiar scent of the tunnels, damp and cold, dead things beyond the stone walls.
I’d been anxious in the days leading up to the Hunt. The ten hours I’d spent under Blackwell Falls three months ago had been scary and disorienting, but that had been because I hadn’t known what to expect.
Like most things in life, just knowing made everything less scary.
Which didn’t mean I wasn’t afraid at all. I didn’t know what it meant that Bram had marked me with his blood in the holding room, but I guessed it was a way to tell the other teams that he, Poe, and Remy were claiming me as their prey.
That scared me more than anything, because this time, losing would cost me more than my body.
The possibility pushed me forward, and I plowed through the darkness, running at full speed, knowing the first red light would appear in less than a minute.
Last time, I’d moved cautiously, not quite sure what was up ahead. Now I ran at full speed, knowing the old junk inside the tunnel was stacked against the walls where I couldn’t trip over it.
The chatter of other girls jockeying for position fell away as I reached the first red light. I remembered the blonde who’d caught up with me at the start of the last Hunt and wondered what had happened to her.
