Page 31 of Alien Desire
“I don’t know if it is the same thing.”
“I’m not sure it is.” I have never seen great affection between my father and his Omegas.
“Maybe your species can not feel love.” Her eyes sadden.
“Maybe,” I say, a depression sweeping over me too.
She turns and walks away, leaving me in deep confusion.
Everything appeared so easy and simple when I first arrived here. I had found an Omega; one I could mate and claim as my own. I would take her home and show the Alphas of Astia the existence of Omegas from another universe. I would lead an expedition to find and claim more of them. I would win more of my kind over to my side and I would take my father’s throne.
Now I don’t know what to do. The Omega kisses me but she does not want to mate with me. She does not want to be owned. She wants love, whatever that is, something I cannot give her, and she pines for a dead family and a planet that is not mine.
I could use more forceful and persuasive tactics, as my father has done with many of his Omegas. Force her to submit to my will.
But I don’t want to. A peculiar idea is brewing in my mind, gaining traction all the time.
I want her to choose me. More than that. I want her to feel for me as I do for her. To love me like she described.
It is not enough I realise, to own her, to claim her. I am discovering that there can be far more between two beings than I ever perceived. Touching and kissing and holding each other.
I don’t want to take her back to Astia and lock her in my chambers. Remove her from the world. Hide her away. Rarely see her except on the occasions we are required to mate.
I want to lie with her and talk with her and kiss her soft mouth. I want to follow her as she fusses about her futile routine. I want to be out there in this new universe exploring with her. I want her to show me her world.
Will she let me?
Chapter fourteen - Emma
My irritation from our discussion about love, about the treatment of Omegas on his planet, lingers. I can’t shake it.
Even when he lies beside me in the evening and drags me towards him, the doubt is still there, niggling at the back of my mind. A little voice in my ear reminds me he can’t love me, reminds me of the rules of his world. A world where females are claimed and owned.
Why do I care? Why does it bother me so much? I don’t want his love or his future. I don’t need it.
Yes, I enjoy his kisses and being held in his arms. But it doesn’t mean anything. Just a lonely girl needing companionship, craving touch, like a flower needs sunlight and water.
I am not ready to settle down. My adventure across the universe had only just begun. I didn’t train for all those years only for it to end so quickly. There are still so many places I want to go and things I want to do.
But no matter how many times I tell myself this, how many times I remind myself we’ve known each other for two weeks, the irritation hovers around me like a bad smell.
This frustration swamps my body too. I am all hot and bothered. Snapping at Sheila for no reason. Pushing Fluffy away when he comes to sit on my lap.
I want this feeling gone. I want to clear my head. Get a hold of my senses. I want air and space.
Being around Tor is too much of a temptation. It is too easy to fall back into his arms and his kisses, and forget the reasons for my caution.
I need to get away.
“I’m going out to check on the mast.” It is the structure by which our communications are shot into space and it lies several miles beyond the wreckage of my ship. There is no real reason to inspect it.
“We will go after breakfast,” Tor says.
“You don’t need to come. I’m going now.” I begin to collect a few supplies — the medical pack, a blaster, some food — and pack them in my satchel.
He follows me around the station. “No,” he says, “we go together.”
“I’m going alone.”
