Page 28 of Alien Desire
“I know, but…” she struggles for words, “when something sad or bad has happened to someone, we express our sympathy or empathy by saying we are sorry.”
“In that case, I am sorry for the deaths of your family.”
“Thank you.”
We lie in silence for some time. I know she is not asleep.
I think about how she is alone in the world — has been for a decade. She must have been very young when her family died. I realise it has made her both tough and fragile. She is a survivor. I hold her a little closer, and my heart beats a little more rapidly as if trying to keep pace with hers. This is what she has done to me, infiltrated and influenced the very beat of my heart.
I remember the flash of pure horror I felt when I watched her crash through the ice. The overwhelming need to dive in and drag her out. How I fought with everything I possessed to free her from the monster who tried to steal her from me.
I know I would fight like this for her again and again. Perhaps I will have to when we return to my planet, especially if I have not mated her. And I will not mate her unless she asks me. I will not pressurise her. I am not my father.
“Do you think anyone is coming for us?” she says. “I’ve tried to reach my people but no one responds.” She sighs wistfully. “I want to go home. I miss it so much. My planet is so beautiful, full of colour and warmth. I miss colour. I miss life.”
She wants to go home, back to her own world and her own people.
Kissing and holding each other means nothing to her. She does not want to be mine, my Omega. She wants to go home.
“The computer is too weak,” I say, “I will finish fixing it and then I will call Astia.”
“They’ll come for you.”
And you, I think, suddenly realising for the first time with horror that she may choose not to come.
She says nothing and I grip her tighter. I can not let her go. But I know, deep down, that I will not force her to do something she does not want to. No, I will move whole worlds to ensure she has what she wants. And if that is leaving me to return to her home, then so be it.
Chapter thirteen - Tor
The next day she shows me images of her planet on the computer system. It is primitive, although not so very different from my own, oceans and deserts and mountains like mine. And full of greens and blues much like Astia. Her eyes sparkle as she shows me the sights, explains where she was born and where she grew up.
She wants to show me pictures of her family too but of course there are none. Instead, she describes them to me, what they looked like, what they were like, her memories.
It sounds so happy and so different from my own early life.
I sit and happily watch her, intrigued as always by the changes that play out across her face. It changes so often and it makes her truly exquisite, beautiful.
Then she describes the intense training she had to go through to become a space cadet and the hardships of her mission here. I can hardly believe a slight little thing like her has overcome such physical challenges and mental obstacles. She is unlike Omegas from Astia — fragile, feeble Grytons who require the protection of an Alpha and who do not like to stray far from home.
She speaks of her lost crewmates too — one female and two males. I can’t help a stab of jealousy at the mention of these men, especially when it is obvious she had affection for them.
Perhaps this jealousy is visible on my face because she is half way through a sentence when she seems to realise how long she’s been speaking. She laughs and colour spills into her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I got carried away. It’s been such a long time since I’ve spoken with anyone.”
“I like listening to you talk,” I tell her.
“I was babbling. I haven’t spoken about my family for so long. Tell me about yours, about your childhood and your planet. Were you always this big?”
“Of course not,” I say.
She examines me. “How old are you?”
“I am twenty-seven in Astia years but this is meaningless to you.”
“It is,” she agrees, frowning. “I am twenty-four Earth years.”
“And you are of sexual maturity, as am I.”
