Page 47 of Alien Desire
“Hmmm,” she sighs, nestling into the crook of my arm. “That sounds nice but the food won’t last forever. Besides, I have been trapped on this planet for too long. It’s time to leave. I think I want to go explore the universe with you. I want to be out there having adventures but only if you’re with me. ”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” She lifts her head to peer at me.
“Yes. I want that too.” The ways of Astia are not for the likes of Emma. I won’t see her miserable and lonely like my mother. I will not take her there. But I cannot be parted from her either. I cannot go home alone. We will have to forge our own way, find somewhere we can belong. “I will send for a ship for us and we will set forth on our adventure.”
She grins. “No more trying to persuade me to come to Astia?”
“We won’t go to Astia. We’ll find some other place.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
She strokes my cheek. “Thank you.”
We drift into bliss together, falling asleep locked and tangled together, in agreement that we will always be together.
This is a dream. A perfect, blissful dream.
I don’t want to wake up.
But dreams end.
They always end.
Chapter nineteen - Emma
Iam vomiting into the toilet. Powerful wretches roll through my body as I grip the cold rim of the toilet bowl, wanting nothing but to lie my head down on the tiled floor and stop the world from swaying.
Green tinged liquid spills from my mouth. It is nothing but water and bile because I was too queasy to eat this morning. And yesterday morning and the morning before that and the morning before that.
I wretch one more time as the nausea passes and I drag myself to the sink, splashing water on my face.
“You know what is wrong,” I tell my reflection.
I’ve been pushing the thought away, trying to deny it. But I know.
I lift the hem of my plain white shirt and stare down at my belly. Is it already curved? Or is that my imagination? Isn’t it a little early for that and for the sickness? I run my palm over the skin, trying to remember, trying to ignore the icy fingers of panic crawling up my spine.
What is the use in panicking? What’s done is done. Out here on the far side of the universe, stranded on this icy planet, there is nothing that can be done about it.
Perhaps it was inevitable. Perhaps I was a giant fool for believing human medicine would prevent this from happening.
Letting my shirt drop, I head out of the bathroom.
What will I tell Tor?
Our future has been a looming cloud we’ve resolutely ignored, happy to remain in our ignorant existence and not think about what will happen to us both. And then finally we’d come to an agreement.
But this will force the issue. There’s no hope in fighting the future when it’s growing in my belly.
I need to be sure first though, so I tiptoe to the medical scanner, confident Tor is occupied with the computer once more.
Tugging off my shirt I climb inside and tell Sheila to run the analysis.
“Undertaking medical examination, please wait,” she chimes as the red and blue laser beams sweep my body, seeming to linger at my abdomen. “Scan complete,” the computer says. “Making medical assessments.” It hums for several minutes then concludes, “No damage detected. Human female in mid twenties. Health very good. One foetal heartbeat detected. Foetal age estimated to be four weeks. Health of foetus undeterminable at this stage.”
