Page 119 of In Doubt
“Giorgie,” he says, squeezing me tighter and I don’t argue with him. I let him hold me as I cry into his chest, his shirt soon a wet mess.
“I want to leave,” I tell him when I have no more tears to shed.
“Let me find the others. Wait here, OK?”
I nod, hugging my arms around me. Dusk is falling, the tents all lit up like light bulbs around me, the roof of the temple scarlet in the fading sun. The air is still and warm and stale with too many scents. Further away the sinister hiss of the night insects begins.
“Giorgie?” I turn and see Carl picking his way towards me in the fading light. “Is that you? I thought you’d gone home?”
I shake my head, fearing any words that stream from my mouth right now will be bitter and regrettable ones.
“Are you doing OK?” he asks, bending a little closer to peer into my eyes. The closeness makes me slightly cross eyed.
He’s wearing his usual powerful cologne, the type marketed to beta’s as smelling like alpha scent. It’s nothing like it. Too chemical and synthetic, and I have to lean slightly away before it gives me a headache.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” He rests his hand on my forearm. “You know if you ever need to talk …”
I rest my hand on top of his. It’s a generous offer and one I know comes from a place of kindness, but right now I want to lick my wounds with the pack. I have a funny feeling that they are the only ones who will make me feel better about this situation. If I hadn't pushed them away like I did at the villa, if I'd let the alphas in to care for me as they wanted, would all the shit I went through afterwards alone in that bedroom never have happened?
Carl captures my hand in his and squeezes my fingers and then before I know what’s happening, he’s backing me up against the wall of a tent, and leaning down to …
“Carl, no!” I screech, snatching my hand away and pushing hard against his chest, catching the whiff of beer on his breath.
He blinks open his eyes, surprise painting his features. His mouth remains frozen in its puckered state.
I swallow, trying to avoid breathing in that disgusting cologne. His face sways a little in front of mine. Where is Jake?
“I’m sorry Carl, but I’m not interested in you in that way.”
“Why? Because I’m not an alpha, Giorgie. I can give you everything an alpha can.” He leans in, resting his palms either side of my head, preventing my escape.
“No,” I say, wondering what the hell he can mean by that. He’s a beta. There is a lot he can’t give me. “You’re my friend and I’m not into you in that way.”
“Exactly, we’re friends. Very good friends. The perfect foundation for a relationship. We’d make a great couple, Giorgie. Don’t I always look out for you?”
Does he? I screw up my face, feeling way too exhausted for this conversation.
“I’m sorry, Carl. I just don’t see you in that way.”
“And who do you see that way? Jake fucking Grantham?” His top lip curls in disgust. “After what he did to you?”
“He didn’t do anything to me, Carl.”
He laughs bitterly. “That’s obviously not true, Giorgie. One minute you’re running off to his villa, the next you’re cutting short your trip and your brother’s come to fetch you home.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about and it’s none of your business.” I see how it may look that way from the outside but he’s wrong. How many other rumours about the pack have been based on twisted distortions of the truth and propagated by people like Carl?
I remember Sia’s warning.Carl’s jealous.I remember all the times Carl has poured poison about Jake into my ear over the last year.
“I’m trying to watch out for you. Men like him will take advantage of an omega like you. Fuck, he already has.” He scowls at me and his eyes turn lecherous as they swim down my body. “He’s already had his dirty alpha paws all over you.”
I plant both my palms on his chest and push with all my might. He doesn’t budge. He’s stronger than me. Instead, he presses his body against mine, trapping me more firmly.
“Carl,” I say, trying to keep my voice even, not betraying the fear that’s seeping through my body or the way my skin crawls with his proximity. “Let me go.”
“And what if I don’t want to?”
