Page 123 of In Doubt
“I think this arrangement is better,” Aiden says. “Better than only one of you winning that spot.”
I lean back, my hands sinking into the cushion behind me. The stars in the blanket above us are like glittering diamonds.
“Hmmm,” I say, knowing he is right. The thought of being separated from Jake pulls at something in my heart. The something has taken root in my heart, growing stronger every moment. And I trust that this time it is real.
“He would’ve given up his spot for you.”
“He said that?” I ask, hoping it means something similar is blossoming in Jake’s heart too.
“Yes. He’s crazy about you Giorgie.” He pauses, wetting his lip with his tongue. “We all are, actually.”
My heart leaps a little in my chest. These last few days have been such a collision of emotions and I’m still untangling them all, trying to work out what each one means. Some of those feelings are definitely connected to the members of this pack, to each alpha. These men are certainly drawing me in. It’s my choice if I let them.
Aiden stands up and comes to sit in the spot Jake’s vacated. He takes my hand in his and I let him. I sense he needs to say something to me and I wait.
“You know I speak my mind.” He runs the pad of his thumb over the backs of my knuckles.
“I had noticed,” I tease.
He chuckles. “I have to ask you this, Giorgie, before we’re swamped by the others again and everything becomes ten times as complicated …”
My brows tug together at his words. “What do you need to ask me?”
“We want to make you ours, Giorgie. We want you to join the pack.”
My heart does a somersault and for one long second I can hardly breathe, certainly can't speak.
“I’m … I …”
“I know you’re scared about that. I know you have your reasons for holding back.”
I shake my head. I'm not. I'm not frightened anymore.
“I can see with my own two eyes the strength of the pull between you and Jake, the growing pull between you and Levi, you and Dylan." His words make me grin like a cheshire cat, lighting up every space in my heart. “This is going to happen. It’s inevitable.”
I nod, feeling right in the centre of my heart the truth of his words.
“And then there’s me,” he says, his walnut gaze falling to our entwined fingers. Already I miss the warmth of his gaze.
“You,” I whisper.
“I won’t stand in the way–”
“You don’t want me!” I gasp, wondering how he can tell me how much I belong to this pack in one breath, and then crush that possibility in the next.
“No, fuck! Giorgie,” the corner of his mouth lifts in a one-sided grin. “I want you a lot.”
“Then…”
“If I’m a barrier, if I’m the thing stopping you being with this pack, then I’m prepared to step aside.” He attempts to speak these words with determination, but they crack, betraying the heartbreak.
He loves his pack. A man who has never had a home or family has finally found his, and he’s willing to give that up for me, for the men he loves, so we can be together.
I shuffle into the space between us, resting my palm against his cheek, encouraging him to lift those warm eyes back to mine. They’re shining wet with that heartbreak too.
“Alpha,” I whisper. “You’re not standing in my way. I wouldn’t want to be in this pack if you weren’t in it too. You’re the heart of this pack, the foundations of it. It would crumble without you.”
“But every time you look at me, you’ll see him, you’ll think of that moment back in the villa and–”
