Page 35 of Pack Choice
He frowns but doesn’t say anything. He knows why I bake. I know why he cooks. We don’t talk about it.
“You need a hug?” he asks.
“I don’t know,” I mutter, but I find myself encased in his arms a moment later anyway.
“I miss her too, Moll.”
I swallow hard, tears brimming in my eyes. Damn, sometimes it hits me out of nowhere and I miss her so much I find it hard to breathe. I can’t help thinking everything would be easier, better, with her around. Instead, I’m here trying to work things out all by myself. And doing a freaking awful job.
Is Ava right? Is a pack what I need to wipe away this feeling of drifting, drifting aimlessly in a sea of dark, bleak water? Or am I right, and finding some sense of normality will have me fished out of the water and back on dry land?
I lean my head against Nate’s chest and enjoy the warmth of his embrace. I’m an omega. I need this affection. I’m seriously lacking it. A pack would give me it. Alphas to hold me, care for me, tell me everything is going to be all right.
But it’s not going to be, because I’m never going to find a pack. Ava may think otherwise, but Ava has more choices than one omega could ever need. The only choice I have is which lone wolf to dodge next.
“I’m not Connor,” Nate tells me, “but do you wanna talk about it? Or I can go get him, if you want.”
“I’m never going to find a pack,” I mutter into his t-shirt.
“Do you want a pack?” he asks, frowning. “I thought you wanted a job.”
“I don’t know,” I say, burying my face in his t-shirt.
“Moll, you’re a Stormgate. There’s something superhuman about your family. You can do and be whatever you want. If you want to find a pack, you will,” he says with such certainty I could almost believe him.
“No, I won’t, Nate. Do you see a long line of men outside the door?”
“That’s because you’re sad.” He lets go of me and goes back to wrestling with the blender. “Fuck, don’t tell those jackasses I said this Moll, but you need to stop worrying about your forever-pack and find someone who can make you smile. Worry about the rest later.”
I wipe my cheeks.
“You think so?”
He looks up at me.
“Totally.”
10
Molly
“Okay, okay, I’m up!”I yell at my alarm the next morning when it starts blaring in my face. I slam my hand down on it and force myself to sit up.
My back creaks, my muscles ache and I’m all hot. It’s probably the ungodly hour making me feel so awful. But just in case, I shuffle across my bed and switch on my phone, bringing up my heat tracker app anyway. I sigh with relief when I see my next heat is still two weeks away. That’s what I thought, but for a minute …
I open my bedside drawer, pull out the medication I use to regulate my heats and take an extra tablet this morning. I’m sure it won’t hurt. These tablets help to space my heats out into more manageable lengths of time so that instead of having one monthly, they come once a quarter. However, they’re not exactly foolproof and three strong alpha scents may have been messing with my system yesterday.
It’s so tempting to fall back into the mattress and pull the covers over my head, but I force myself into the shower, opting to make the water as cold as I can bear it.
To wake me up.
Also to stop the throb between my legs that’s been set off by yet another round of steamy dreams. This time Mr. Racing car taking center stage.
I concentrate on buffing my skin and not on the memories of the things that man was doing to me in my dream last night. Things that … well …
At least he is one alpha I won’t be seeing again any time soon. I heard Simone whispering to one of the other girls in the office that, in the six months he’s been with the company, he’s only dropped into the office once before.
Not that lack of his presence eliminates all of my problems. There is still Mr. Red Flag and Mr. Military. Both also featured in last night’s dream.
