Page 129 of Pack Choice
“It was. You weren’t there, Molly.”
“No, I wasn’t. But I’ve lost someone too.” My voice cracks as I say the words. “My mom and for a very long time I blamed myself. I berated myself. I should have seen the signs earlier. Made her go to the doctor. I should have begged, borrowed and stolen to find her some kind of cure. I berated myself over and over again until I realized it was all a lie. It wasn’t my fault. It never was. It was just life. And she would hate the thought of me blaming myself.” I force him to meet my eyes. “You didn’t pull the trigger, Ford. You couldn’t have stopped it.”
“But I survived and they didn’t. And I feel so damn guilty about it every single day. It should be Adam sitting here with you. Or Lucas. Or Crusher. Not me.”
“But I’m glad it’s you,” I say gripping on to his shirt. “I’m sorry you lost them, so sorry for that. But I’m not sorry you’re here with me now. I’m not sorry at all.”
He brushes the hair away from my face, cradling my head in his hands. “Molly,” he pleads.
“Did you fight? Did you fight to try to save them?” He nods. “Because you are a good man, Ford, and you deserve all the good things in the world.”
“Like you?” he asks. I roll my eyes and he growls. “So you’re allowed to be bad, but I’m not?”
“No,” I say, he scowls at me, “okay, maybe I’m not such a bad omega.”
He lets out a long breath, like he’s letting go of some of that weight that’s been straining at his shoulders. Then he smiles at me, a second smile, this time even more earnest, real. It whips my breath away.
“So this, this is why you’re a lone wolf?”
“Yes, I lost my pack. Or the pack that should have been mine.”
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t ever find another.”
“It would feel disloyal, Molly.”
“Why?” I ask as his thumb skates along my jaw.
He opens his mouth, his brow furrows. He’s struggling to find a reason.
“Wouldn’t they have wanted you to go on and be happy? To live your life for them?”
“I don’t know.”
“If things had turned out differently, would you have wanted them to find happiness with another pack?” He nods his head. “Then …”
“Damn it, Molly Stormgate,” he whispers, soaking me in like I’m some kind of wonder.
Then he kisses me. And when he draws back, I whisper, “I want the four of us to give this a try.”
34
Ford
I leavethat Taco City feeling a million times lighter than when I entered an hour ago. My steps are easier, my back straighter. It’s sort of incredible. But that is the power of Molly Stormgate. I’ve never met anyone like her, and for the first time I feel hopeful. Maybe even excited about the future and all its possibilities.
I’ve never talked about what happened before. To anyone. No matter how many shrinks the military tried to sit me in front of. No matter how many times my mom asked. It was like a valve rusted shut that refused to budge. But Molly, somehow she eased that valve open and all the pressure, all of it has come easing out.
The constant ache in my heart is gone.
It lasts until we draw up to her home and I wait for the security gates to part.
Her brothers, my boss, their packmates aren’t going to see this the same way. She may be able to forgive me. I may even be starting to forgive myself. But Pack Stormgate? They are not going to like the idea that I’ve been sleeping with their little sister. They will like it even less when she tells them I rutted her through her heat. They will break my neck when they find out I’m an alpha who lost his packmates on the battlefield.
That’s not how it’s meant to be between packmates. We are meant to fight and die for each other.
“Ford,” Molly says, seeing something in my eyes. “Don’t.”
“They won’t think I’m good enough for you.”
