Page 28 of Destined Dawn
“We didn’t use protection,” I blurt out. I wince, ready for the Winnie lecture. She doesn’t say a word, just nods calmly. “It was the first time, back at the Kennedy house. I guess we just got so carried away in the moment that we didn’t think and–”
“Rhi,” Winnie says, laying her palms on my shoulders and fixing her gaze with mine. “Breathe.” I take a deep inhale and exhale. “Well done. And again.” I repeat the action. “Now let’s get some things clear. Did he, you know, inside you?” I nod. “Right, well, there’s something we can brew that can deal with the risk of pregnancy.” I wince again at the words. “Let me see … how many days out are we … yes, we should be fine.” I let out a sigh of relief. “There’s not a lot I can do about potential STIs, though,” she says, with a look of apology, “you’d need to go to the clinic for that.”
“Oh, that’s not a problem. He says he’s clean.”
Winnie blurts out a snort. Then gives me another apologetic look. “Sorry, Rhi, it’s just it’s Tristan, and he’s …”
“A massive man-whore?” I say. Winnie swallows. “He says he always used protection before.”
“Let’s hope he’s telling the truth.”
“He is,” I say firmly, “I could feel it through the bond.” I slump down on the bed. “Is this potion going to be disgusting? Or … hurt?” I grimace. Then bury my face in my hands. “I’m such an idiot, Winnie.”
Winnie pinches my arm. “Don’t be so dramatic, Rhi. You think you’re the first woman to mess up their contraception? Saskia used to brew this potion for a fair price back at the academy – she was making a fortune. I mean you could get it for free from the matron but a lot of girls didn’t like going to her about it and–”
“Really?” I say, peeking at Winnie through my fingers.
“Rhi, I had to take it myself two weeks ago, when things got a bit,” she waggles her eyebrows “and the condom broke.”
“Shit,” I say. “I thought those things were indestructible.”
“Not always. It depends what you’re doing.” She grabs my elbow and pulls me back onto my feet. “Come on, we’d better go brew it. The sooner you take it, the more effective it will be.”
“You’re saying it’s not 100% effective!” I say in alarm.
“It will be. I’ll make sure of it. We have enough man-babies running around after you. We don’t need an actual baby.”
I nod my head in agreement, then peer down at my stomach. A baby is not something I’d ever ever considered. I was always too consumed with how to make it through to the next day; I didn’t have a chance to think any further into the future. I’d never pictured myself with a family – a husband and a baby. Since the arrival of five fated mates that scenario seems even less likely.
“No, I don’t want a baby. Not now, anyway. I mean maybe one day way, way in the future. Is it crazy to even think like that, Winnie? I have four men bonded to me. It’s not like we could ever be a conventional family. Not to mention the fact that a very powerful man would probably like me dead – or at least chained to a wall.”
“You have every right to want to be happy, to want a family, Rhi. We all do.” I smile at her and kiss her cheek.
“Is that what you want, Winnie?”
“I don’t know – maybe a long time in the future too. I’d like to do stuff first. Study more.”
“Winnie,” I say, “has this potion – the one you’re going to brew – been around for a long time?”
“Yep, hundreds of years, why?”
“So, if I were the result of … a mishap or,” I swallow, “something much much worse–”
“Your aunt said your mom and dad were in love, Rhi.”
“But if I were unplanned, my mom could have used this potion to stop her from getting pregnant. But she didn’t. She must have chosen to have me.”
I guess I’ve never expressed that out loud before. But all my life I’ve wondered. Why did she give me up? Was it to keep me safe? Because she was unable to care for me?
Or was it because she didn’t want me?
Now I think I have my answer.
My vision swims with tears.
“She wanted me. My mom wanted to keep me.”
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