Page 106 of Spark of Sorcery
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Thorne
The old general, her face weathered with age and too many battles to count, walks along the line, inspecting each one of us in turn.
She reaches me at the end and nods.
“You did good today, real good. Now go back, get cleaned up and heal yourselves. We’ll be back out here again for night exercises. And then I think it’s about time we got you back to the academy. You’ll be starting the journey back the day after tomorrow.” She salutes. “Dismissed.”
I lift my bare hand to my forehead and salute in return, just like all the other shadow weavers from the academy lined up alongside me.
It’s only with this movement, I feel the slight tremble in my arm.
Adrenaline, anger and fear pulsate through my body, my shadow magic roars in my ears and I’m dizzy and sick.
As the general walks away, I lower my arm and stare down at my hand, flexing and curling my fingers. Around me the others are talking excitedly about the prospect of returning to the academy.
I spit on the ground, then pull my gloves from my belt and slip them back over my hands.
At once that feeling of suffocation, of imprisonment, encases me. I close my eyes.
“Fuck me, we did more than good today, boys.” I open my eyes to find Dray slapping the shoulder of my other bond brother. They are both waiting for me, standing a couple of meters away.
“Thorne, you were awesome,” Dray continues, “the way you sliced the head off that demon’s shoulders. Oh man, it was fucking incredible.”
He may be impressed, smiling at me even, but he makes no attempt to move closer. He does not slap me on the shoulder. He’s been more wary of me since the full moon. Keeping his distance, careful not to come too close.
And suddenly an intense weariness overtakes me.
It’s nothing but destruction. Pain, violence, death.
No softness, no affection, no touch.
What I would give for one squeeze of my shoulder, one slap on my back, one hug.
It is so exhausting.
So lonely.
Is it worth it, this existence?
“What’s wrong?” Beaufort says and I wonder if for once, I’ve betrayed my emotions on my face.
“Nothing,” I say, “just tired.”
I start trudging in the direction of the barracks. Theother two follow after me. I can hear Dray garbling on behind me, his excitable words carrying across the distance.
“Three days and we’re back at the academy. Never thought I’d be in a hurry to return to that shithole, but fuck me, I can’t wait to get my hands on that little thrall. I miss her scent, and her soaking wet pussy.”
I pick up my pace. I don’t need to hear this. I don’t need to be reminded of all the things I’m missing. Of all the things I want and can’t have.
Fate is cruel and twisted and sick.
Why give me the thing I want most? The thing I can never have? Why tease me with it?
I glower down at my hands – my damn hands, balling them into fists. The hem of my gloves ride up my wrists as I do and I spy it.
I halt dead in my tracks.
