Page 89 of Harper's Holiday Romance
“I don’t like this Natalia girl.”
“Natalie,” I corrected, again.
“Regardless of what you think of Natalie, the problem is what Julia said. She said I was just a fling. She brushed me aside in the conversation like I meant nothing.” The cold hard truth was there in black and white.
“Are you okay?” Billie asked.
“Not really.” I shrugged. I allowed myself to hope, and I was quickly shot back down to earth in a giant ball of flaming meteorite.
“This is the reason I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want a holiday romance because now look at me. Julia will get back with her ex-fiancée because I served some purpose in their saga, and I will be left forever wondering why she didn’t feel the same about me.”
“I’m sorry, Harps.” Sarah came and curled her half naked torso beside me on the chair.
“I’m sorry too.” Billie did the same. She brushed the tears from my face. “If she can’t see you’re a fine piece of ass with the biggest heart and the kindest soul, she doesn’t deserve you anyway.”
“I love you guys.” I sniffled.
“We love you more,” Sarah said.
I was sandwiched between my two best friends who I loved more than anything in the world, and I found comfort in that. We stayed that way for a while. Our conversation turned from sadness, to hatred, to sarcasm, and everything in between.
I had three days left to do one of two things: avoid Julia at all costs or pretend I didn’t overhear the conversation with Natalie. I feared the latter would be too difficult.
15
I hit the switch on the electronic blind. The sunlight exposure was impossible to adjust to without sunglasses on. I reached for the black pair on my bedside table just as the light came streaming through the window. My body’s sleep cycle had always been in tune with the light, that’s why black out blinds on holiday were my best friend. There was no denying the link between sunlight and my serotonin levels. I instantly felt a calmness I didn’t feel at home.
Today was a new day.
I tried to remain positive, but deep down so many insecurities were waiting in the wings, ready to rear their ugly heads. Billie and Sarah spent the whole night making me feel like I was the most loveable human that ever walked the earth. I adored them for that, but there was nothing they could do or say that would change the gut-wrenching feeling of regret and rejection burying its way into my soul.
I was all for those empowering women you see on TV, the badass women who can take a punch to the gut like a walk in the park. I admired the type of women who experienced failure, loss, heartbreak, and somehow turned it into a business venture and a way to better their own life.
I wasn’t one of those women. Instead, I would share a couple of cryptic quotes on Instagram and slowly but surely move on with my life; a small lesson learnt andeven more fear of the dreaded human emotions. Billie was still asleep; Sarah was in between us. The bed was big enough to fit four. We’d fallen asleep watchingThe Wedding Planneron Billie’s iPad. The iconic film had been her choice, as it had been the other ten times we’d watched it since we started living together. It made sense now that I knew about her deep-seated crush on Jennifer Lopez.
My phone lit up on the bedside table.
Julia.
I felt the bottom drop out of my chest.
Julia
Good morning.
My fingers hovered over the keys. I desperately wanted to reply. I wanted to go all Jennifer Lopez when she finds out Eddie is getting married and she’s planning his wedding. Awkward. As Jennifer would say, “I can do this because I love a challenge, and I am a professional!”
I can do this.
Me
Good morning.(deletes)
Me
Good morning, Julia.(deletes)
Me
