Page 104 of If I Could Say Goodbye
My regular therapy sessions are really helping me; it’s good to be able to talk openly. Ed offered to come to the sessions too, but I enjoy the freedom they give me, and there is still the matter of the little white lie that I told him when I stopped the medication. I can be honest-ish with Ed about that now – he knows that my prescription has ‘changed’ to the antidepressants – but I’d really rather not open up the whole can of worms, not yet. Besides, I get the impression Ed doesn’t really like Dr Popescu – I can’t imagine why.
‘Yep! Got an alarm set on my calendar!’ He gives me a hasty kiss. ‘Just promise me you’re not going to have an affair with him!’
‘Promise.’
And off he goes, marching out of the house whistling ‘Jingle Bells’.
I love my husband so much sometimes it hurts.
Look at how happy he is!
I resist the urge to wink at Kerry as Nessa knocks at the door.
Are you ready?
‘I’m not here, dummy, I could go to the cinema with you both butt-naked and nobody would know. In fact . . .’She begins taking off her shoes.
Don’t you dare! I said I would go to a scary film with you because you’re about to kick the bucket, I did NOT agree to going with you in your birthday suit.
‘Spoilsport.’
I laugh.
‘Hey, you ready?’ Nessa asks.
‘Come in, yeah . . . just let me grab my coat.’
‘Are you’re sure you want to do this? You do remember that you almost didn’t watchGame of Thronesbecause you were scared of the White Walkers, right?’
‘I know but, well, YOLO and all that.’
‘YOLO?’
‘Yeah, you only—’
‘I know what it means but you’ve never really been a . . .’ she finger-quotes, ‘“YOLO” type of woman.’
‘Well it’s time to change that.’
‘OK, then these are the rules.’ She begins ticking them off her fingers. ‘One: no looking away from the screen. Two: no hiding behind your popcorn. And three: no going to the loo when you think something scary is going to come on.’
‘Can I hold your hand?’ I ask as I throw my phone into my bag.
‘You can, but no getting fresh.’ She grins as her phone pings, hailing a message. I watch a slow, deliberate smile cross her face as her fingers flutter across the screen.
Kerry leans over her shoulder, swallowing down a sour piece of orange. Her eyebrows rise.
‘Who are you texting?’ I ask, pushing my arms into my jacket.
‘No-one.’
‘Well that no-one is making you smile like a Cheshire cat. What is a Cheshire cat, anyway?’
‘It’s fromAlice in Wonderland.’
‘But why is it from Cheshire?’
‘No idea.’ Her fingers finish fluttering and she slips the phone into her back pocket.
