Page 13 of The Truth About You and Me
‘Aren’t I staying with you, Grandma?’ I’d asked.
‘Of course you are! I will always be here for you. Now how about I take you to the park?’
It was the first time I realised that what people say and what they think are two very different things.
Grandma put me into the care system by the time I was five and a half.
The last time I saw her, she had held my shoulders and told me to never tell people that I can hear them thinking. It was the first time the words in her mouth matched the words shouting in her head:
They won’t understand.
You’ll never fit in.
So dating, to me, is something that happens mostly in a world created and compacted within the four corners of a movie screen, all high-definition, professionally chosen outfits, make-up dusted along cheekbones. The dates that play out behind that secret, pixelated screen are filled with witty one-liners or awkward silences, where the characters sayexactlywhat they mean. And when the hero doesn’t go off shagging people behind the heroine’s back.
And I know this isn’t technically a date, and that we have Henry grinning up at the screen between us, but it’s pretty close. I shift my focus back to the blonde pixie-cutted drummer. From the corner of my eye, I see him opening his bag of popcorn, salted not sweet. I take a long pull through my straw, eyes now focused on a young Eric Stoltz walking along the train tracks, daring the train to get closer to him before he steps safely away. I side-eye Jack.
‘You’re smiling,’ I find myself saying, eyes back on the screen.
‘I am.’ He throws a piece of popcorn into his mouth. ‘I like the metaphor.’
‘Metaphor?’
Jack nods to the screen. ‘Yeah, wrong side of the tracks?’ He glances in my direction. ‘Low income, thinks he’s setting his sights too high?’ I nod. ‘Classic. Classic character archetype. A’ – he frowns in frustration for a second before composing himself and continuing – ‘a main character, who sees himself as extremely average, but is better-looking and more talented than he thinks. He wants more from life, right?’ To prove his point, on the screen Eric aka Keith is looking at his oil-stained hands while his crush, Amanda Jones, is getting it on with the rich popular guy in the background. There is something in the way he is looking at the screen, an excitement that – God this is going to soundsoooonaff – lights him up from the inside.
‘But also, sexy,’ I add. He coughs on his intake of lemonade.
‘You think he’s sexy?’ Jack gestures to the screen with his paper cup, straw sticking out.
‘Eric Stoltz?’ I fold my arms and lean back. ‘Yep. I should say that he’s notactuallya teenager. He was in his twenties when they filmed this.’
‘Huh.’ He seems to assess the man on the screen.
‘What about you?’ I bring the straw to my lips.
‘Me?’
‘No, Henry.’ I roll my eyes. ‘Yes you, I’m-not-Jack. Who tickles your fancy, the popular girl or the drummer?’
He laughs, deep and slow. ‘Tickles my fancy?’ He raises an eyebrow.
‘Yeah, which leading lady floats your boat?’
‘My boat?’ That slow smile again.
‘Watts or Amanda Jones?’
‘Amanda Jones. Isn’t that a Rolling Stones song?’
‘Yes, and stop avoiding the question.’
‘Amanda is the mum fromBack to the Future?’
‘You still haven’t answered the question. Blonde, brunette, or are you a redhead kind of guy?’
He frowns, as though he’s thought of something, but then he smirks. ‘I don’t know yet. I need to see if I like their personalities.’
‘Smooth,’ I say shaking my head. ‘Very smooth.’
