Page 27 of The Truth About You and Me
‘Will do.’
‘We can compare notes?’
He nods, but his eyes are already scanning the road. There is a chill in the air, the winter fast approaching, leaves already dying and falling to the kerb.
‘Goodnight, Jack.’
‘See you soon, Maggie.’
I watch him walk along the road until the evening swallows the outline of his figure.
Only then do I let the air back out of my lungs.
* * *
Tess is curled up on the sofa, asleep, when I get back home.Bridget Jonesis playing quietly in the background.
She looks out of place in my sitting room in her pale beige pyjamas and carefully highlighted blonde hair.
My small sitting room is a riot of colour. The walls emerald green, the sofa a dark orange, warm colours contrasting with the perpetually cold temperature inside the room. Above the sofa are postcards of places I will never travel to in the summer, not on my wages, and not without gloves and a coat.
I’ve always wanted to fill my home with things to look at, to enjoy. But now, it feels like they’re all symbols of a life I can never have.
‘Hey,’ she says, yawning. Her face falls as she takes in the time and my expression. I slump down next to her, taking off my gloves and throwing them across the room.
‘Want to talk about it?’ she asks.
‘Not really. I…’ Jack’s thoughts come back into my mind, and the image of the path outside the pub:What am Idoing? This is too soon. I’m not ready.
‘He’s not ready. And he knows we can’t be anything… and I think I saw him thinking about the road outside the White Lion.’
‘That doesn’t mean anything, Mags. He might have fancied a pint.’
‘I know but I was only across the street when I?—’
‘Just take a breath. Tell me what happened.’
‘Riz had a fall so we went to hers, and I wasn’t careful enough when I passed him his coat.’ I rush on. ‘And then I saw him thinking about the pub and I heard that he wasn’t ready and I… I hate lying to him, you know? And not just about the whole germ thing. I know he’s not OK, and I think it was because of me that his life turned to shit, but I can’t tell him that without explaining that I’m, well, me?—’
She sits up. ‘Take a breath, Mags. You don’t know any of this for certain.’
‘I know I’m lying to him.’
She pulls the cuffs of her pyjamas over her hands. ‘You’re not lying to him, you’re just not telling him everythingyet. And has he told you the truth? Why his life is shit?’
‘Well… no.’
She holds out her hands like she’s balancing plates in a ‘there you go’ motion. ‘See? He’s got his own secrets too. You both need time.’
‘I told him we can only be friends.’
Her shoulders drop a little. ‘Being friends is a good place to start, I reckon.’
‘Maybe.’ I chew my thumbnail.
‘Although I was hoping you would have at least got to first base tonight.’
I give her a weak smile. ‘What and hear how I use too much tongue like I did with Luke?’
