Page 103 of The Truth About You and Me
‘True, but it doesn’t stop folk from at least giving it a go. Tell me, have you finally come to your senses and been in touch with Jack?’
I shake my head, chewing with frustration. We’ve been over this conversation more times than I can count. ‘You know I haven’t. I’m not good for him, Riz.’
‘See! This proves Phillip’s theory! You’re scared of being abandoned and thus are protecting yourself from letting anyone get close to you.’
‘Rubbish! I’m not seeing Jack because I will hold him back from the life I know he wants. As I’ve said. Repeatedly.’
‘Humph. Just because you keep saying it doesn’t mean it’s true. You’re not being fair to him or to yourself.’
Tears spring in my eyes and I look away to the window, feeling the pulse of the lighthouse, the pulse of that life I was part of for a brief moment.
Her voice softens. ‘Forgive me, love, but my time on this glorious earth will soon be at an end and I hate to go before I see you living your life, not hiding away from it because you’re afraid of being cast aside. Answer me this, Maggie, do you want to see him?’
I let out a long breath. ‘You know I do.’
‘Then go!’
‘I can’t.’
‘Poppycock. You mean you won’t.’
‘Yes. That’s exactly what I mean. I won’t stand in the way of him living the life he wants, Riz.’ No matter how much it feels like my insides are on fire.
She shakes her head sadly. I straighten and reach for another biscuit, swiftly changing track. ‘So what’s the goss around here, apart from you and Phillip getting it on after lights out?’
‘Mrs Khan from room sixteen has kicked the bucket.’
Mrs Khan had become one of Riz’s partners in crime, as she liked to call her.
‘Oh no! I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s a shit. She slipped off in the middle ofMidsomer Murdersand she will be furious that she didn’t find out who put the poison in the loganberry jam… but there are worse ways to go. She’d had her supper first and she had her family around her so that’s something. I’d hate to leave this mortal plane on my own.’
She glances up and Gloria the nurse walks in. Gloria, as the name suggests, is bright and cheerful, pink hair backcombed like a ball of candyfloss. ‘Time for your meds. Oh hello, Maggie. Didn’t see you sneak through.’
‘She’s like a spy this one – stays close to the shadows. That’s why she only comes to see me at night.’
‘Shush, nobody but you is supposed to know about my secret identity,’ I joke, at the same time pushing away thoughts of seeing Jack. I glance at the pills Riz tips into her palm, spotting a pink one that I haven’t seen before.
‘Gloria, tell me’ – Riz throws the pills to the back of her throat and gulps a glug of water from her glass – ‘if you met a tall, dark and handsome man, who is clearly head over heels for you, who is successful and funny and kind, would you let him go?’ I shake my head and roll my eyes at Gloria, my attempt to dismiss Riz’s tone.
Gloria lets out a deep throaty laugh but wags her finger at Riz. ‘I’m still not going to answer that. Leave the poor girl alone; she has her reasons.’
‘Thank you, Gloria. I do,’ I challenge, folding my arms in front of me.
Riz lets out a long sigh. ‘Youth is wasted on the young.’
Gloria sits beside Riz, checks her pulse. ‘Will you stop doing that. I’m old and still alive, no amount of checking is going to stop me marching towards the pearly gates.’ Gloria shakes her head with a smile but there is concern pulling at the edges. ‘Right. Bedtime for you,’ she adds standing.
‘Absolutely not. Not until Maggie tells me that she’s going to go to Jack and lets him know what a magnificent fool she’s being.’
Gloria tuts and shakes her head. ‘I’ll be back at nine to make sure you’re behaving yourself.’
‘Well?’ Riz challenges as Gloria leaves. ‘You’re not going to decline a dying woman’s wish, are you?’
‘Riz, I love you, but in this case yes. Yes I am. I know what I’m doing. It’s for the best.’
She lets out a pffft.
