Page 104 of The Truth About You and Me
‘I know you think we should be together but it’s not as simple as that.’
‘Poppycock. You think that life is always easy?’
‘No. I know first-hand that it’s not.’ There is a snap to my words and she softens.
‘Did I tell you that the first time Art asked for my hand I said no? He was too good for me, you see. Came from money, was distinguished and always behaved impeccably… all the things I wasn’t. But do you know what I discovered? That I was everythingheneeded. He’d grown up with the weight of expectation on his shoulders, and I was able to fill in all the little gaps that made him into the person he was always meant to be. His parents thought I wasn’t good enough for him, but I was, and he was a better person for meeting me. You see, my lovely girl, what makes a person the best version of themselves is when they find all the gaps in themselves and fill them with the things that matter. I said no to my Art, but then I realised the reasons I was saying no were nothing to do with him or his family; they were to do with me. I needed to fill those gaps, those little parts of me that I thought weren’t good enough. It took me a year, but I filled those parts of me with life and experiences that I needed to become the best version of myself. I needed to fall in love withmebefore I could fall in love withhim. Do you see?’
‘I…’
‘Fall in love with the person you want to be, Maggie. Take all of those holes and cracks that are holding you back and find a way to mend them. It’s not being with Jack that you’re afraid of, it’s being left alone.’
I don’t tell her that’s exactly what I’m afraid of. I can’t give him what he truly wants, and in the end, being together will only end up hurting us both.
‘Now enough chat, it’s time for the new series of that bonk-buster and it’s time you stopped spending your evenings with an old bird like me.’
‘I like spending my nights with you.’
She shakes her head and shifts. There is a flash of pain and she clamps her mouth tightly. ‘As I say… youth is wasted on the young.’
47
FRIDAY 14TH FEBRUARY
Jack
‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ Nell shouts.
‘Nice jumper,’ I say, looking at the skull and crossbones sitting on top of what looks like a dissected heart.
‘Thank you. Festive isn’t it? Seeing as we’re both loners for the most romantic day of the year, I thought it was fitting.’ She leans over me, peering at the screen. ‘What you up to?’
‘Just organising the release dates into genres… I thought we could do genre-themed displays depending on the most releases of that month? April is looking pretty cosy crime heavy so… maybe one of those murder mystery nights?’
‘Oooh, nice idea. You going to do it here or…’
‘I thought here first? See how it lands?’
‘I’ll check it out and get the costing up.’
‘Do you mind?’
‘Of course not. I do everything around here anyway,’ she quips even though it’s not technically true. At least not any more.
‘About that… I wanted to talk to you about something.’
Her face falls a touch as she takes in my more serious tone. ‘You’re not going to fire me, are you?’ She laughs but the laughter catches in her throat. ‘You’re not, are you…?’
‘Take a seat.’ She perches on the end of a stool and I drag the other over to face her.
‘Nell, I want you to know that how much I appreciate everything that you’ve done for the shop and for me since, well, since I lost my shit. And as you know things are changing?—’
‘Fuck. You are going to fire me, aren’t you?’
‘What? No! I’m offering you the permanent managerial position.’
‘Really?’ Her short black fringe shoots up to her hairline.
‘And… I haven’t worked out all the details yet so it won’t come into play until next year, but I want to introduce a profit-share system… depending on if you want the job or not.’
