Page 62 of The Slipper Scandal
“So soon?” Elizabeth wished she had not sounded quite so shocked.
Arabella smiled. “I know we have only just met again, but while you have been sparring with Mr. Darcy, the colonel and I have talked about . . . oh, so many things. He just . . .” Her voice trailed away. “I felt at ease with him almost from the first time we were introduced last season. He has the most delightfully droll way of seeing the world, and I want to see it with him.”
Elizabeth squeezed her hands, moved by the depth of feeling in her friend's voice. "Have you told your parents this?"
"I tried," Arabella admitted. "Father says that love, while essential, is not sufficient on its own to sustain a marriage through years of separation and anxiety. That eventually the strain would wear down even the strongest attachment."
Elizabeth felt the words coil around her heart. Was this not the same as her own situation?
Arabella sighed. "Father also said that if Colonel Fitzwilliam wishes to pursue the connection, he must be willing to consider selling his commission."
"And would the colonel consider such a sacrifice?" Elizabeth asked.
"I do not know," Arabella replied, a flicker of hope crossing her features. "Father has not outright demanded it. He says the decision must be entirely the colonel's own. If he values his career above all else, then he is not the right husband for me. If, on the other hand . . ." She broke off, the hope in her eyes dimming. "But how can I ask it of him? He takes such pride in his service to the country, Lizzy. He has earned the right to be proud, for unlike so many, he has not used his family to remain safely in England.”
"Belle," Elizabeth ventured, "I know this is not what you wish to hear, but there is nothing more for you to do. This choice is not yours to make."
"Yes, that is the worst part. I begin to feel some sympathy for your Mr. Darcy.”
“Oh,” Elizabeth said, unconsciously placing one hand over her heart, “that is not fair.”
"Lizzy," Arabella said gently, "forgive me for speaking plainly, but I must say it again. I believe Mr. Darcy cares for you far more deeply than you have allowed yourself to acknowledge. This is not merely duty or obligation on his part. This is a man who genuinely wishes to be in your company, who values your mind and your spirit.” She caught Elizabeth’s gaze and held it. “And the only impediment to a happy union is you."
Elizabeth could not meet her friend's gaze, suddenly overwhelmed by the implications of Arabella's words. "I am afraid, Belle," she confessed in a whisper. "I have spent so manyyears guarding against the possibility of a marriage like my parents' that I scarcely know how to trust my own judgment in the matter anymore."
"Then trust mine," Arabella said firmly. "I have seen how open you are with him. Far more than with any other gentleman of our acquaintance. Look how a single note from him can occupy your thoughts." She smiled gently. "You may not be prepared to admit it, but I believe you care for him as well."
Elizabeth felt heat rise to her cheeks at this too-accurate assessment. "Even if there is some attraction," she admitted reluctantly, "that does not ensure lasting happiness. How can I know whether he respects and admires me in so short a time?"
"Nothing can ensure that," Arabella pointed out. "Noteventime. Life offers no guarantees, Lizzy. The most prudent match based on compatible temperaments and mutual esteem can falter if you do not work to support one another."
"A truth your parents seem to understand quite well," Elizabeth noted.
"Yes," Arabella acknowledged ruefully. "And yet, here I am, willing to risk a lifetime of worry and loneliness for the chance to be with a man I only believe I love. While you . . ." She broke off, studying Elizabeth with sudden insight. "You fear that very emotion, do you not? Not just the possibility that Mr. Darcy might grow indifferent, but that you might come to care too deeply and be unable to protect yourself if his sentiments change."
Elizabeth stared at her friend, startled by her perception. "I had not thought of it that way," she said slowly. "I have spent so many years watching my mother's unhappiness, her desperate need for my father's approval and his unwillingness to give it that I have come to see such dependence as something to be avoided at all costs. My mother is a trial to me, Belle, but I understand why she is this way."
Arabella leaned forward. "I may not have the colonel in the end, but there is no such impediment between you and Mr. Darcy. Only your own fear."
"It is not so simple," Elizabeth protested.
"It never is," Arabella agreed. "I know I told you I would help you avoid this marriage. But I will confess, I have always believed that Mr. Darcy would be good for you.”
Elizabeth felt something shift inside her at these words, a loosening of the tight knot of fear that had constrained her for so long. "You speak fervently on Mr. Darcy’s behalf."
"I speak only as I find," Arabella replied. "And what I find is a man who looks at you as though you delight him at every turn. Who seeks your company with increasing frequency. Who writes notes about 'unusual pleasure' at the prospect of sharing an evening with you."
Elizabeth could not help but smile at this. "When you put it that way . . ."
"Be brave, Lizzy," Arabella urged. "Brave as I know you can be. Allow yourself to see the man who I am sure loves you, and to consider whether you might one day return that love."
"I shall try," Elizabeth promised softly.
"That is all I ask," Arabella said, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. She leaned against Elizabeth, finally allowing her head to rest on her friend's shoulder. "How strange that we should both find ourselves facing the prospect of love at the same moment, yet under such different circumstances."
"Life does seem to delight in such ironies," Elizabeth agreed, placing an arm around Arabella's shoulders. "You love a man you can no longer see. I am pledged to a man my heart dares not trust."
They sat in companionable silence for a long moment, lost in their own thoughts. Elizabeth found her mind returning to Mr. Darcy's words. Perhaps Arabella was right. Perhaps there wasmore to his regard than mere duty or obligation. The thought was unsettling yet undeniably appealing.
