Page 40 of Seizing Mack
Chapter Eighteen
~ Mack ~
Mack let the hot watersoothe her aching muscles. She’d overdone it, ramping up the weights more than she should have. But damn it, she’d needed to get rid of some of that extra energy somehow. She’d been doing so good – Volker had really challenged her, pushing her to her limits – and thenhehad to show up.
Damn Nick and his flippin’ perfect white teeth, male model physique, and potent pheromones! She was not some silly little girl! She was a grown woman with a productive and satisfying life. The last thing she needed was a man screwing things up.
It was stupid – really, really stupid – to feel this way about someone she barely knew. So what if his eyes made her insides feel as though they were melting when they focused on her? So what if her heart picked up speed and her entire body felt hyper-aware whenever he was in the same room? So what if the mere scent of him made some parts of her rhythmically clench without conscious thought?
Even knowing how stupid it was, she was powerless against it. No one else had ever affected her this way. She had no frame of reference for how to deal with it.
It was more than insta-lust inspired by his good looks. She was surrounded by buff, handsome men all the time – first in the service, then at the gym. While she had — very discreetly — admired several of them, it had never felt likethis. Like she wanted to spend hours just talking to him, learning about him, taking him up into the mountains. Just plain taking him.
Fantasizing about getting hot and sweaty between the sheets was one thing, but wanting to share her mountain with him? That had her shaken.
But why shouldn’t she think about those things, another part of her wondered? Nick Benning wasn’t just another handsome-faced and buff-bodied hero type. He was also funny and playful, and when he hit her with those amazing eyes she felt as if he could see past all the surface stuff and reallyseeher.
No one had ever done that before.
Mack ignored the hopeful, romantic voices in her head, after telling them to shut the hell up. This wasn’t a Disney movie. Nick Benning wasnotPrince Charming, and she was no goddamn princess.
Oh, at one time, she’d dreamed of all the same things little girls dreamed of – falling in love, getting married, having kids, living happily ever after. She’d found out soon enough that fairy tales weren’t nearly as fun when you had to deal with a real-life stepmother and stepsister. Especially when the stepsister was the charming, beautiful one and she was the one staying home on Saturday nights.
That naïve little girl was long gone. In her place was a much stronger, much smarter woman who led a full and productive life. She had her own successful business doing what she loved. A beautiful house and the best housemate anyone could wish for. She was active in the community.
She had no reason to sit around feeling sorry for herself because of something someone else did or said. It was time to get her head on straight, whip her AWOL senses back into shape, and suck it up like the proud, capable Marine she was.
Being in the service had transformed her. She liked the discipline. Liked the grueling twelve-week recruit training that gave her a sense of accomplishment, just for having survived it. Was elated when she passed the ASVAB tests with the highest scores in her class. She basked in the unconditional support of her team. The Marines had turned her from a nobody into somebody.
And that somebody was a badass who didnotsit home pining over some guy.
No longer was she the shy, quiet, chubby girl that elicited the snickers and taunts of her peers or was the recipient of more than a few cruel practical jokes. She wasMacknow; not Chubby, Fatty, Loser, or Thunderbutt.
She would never be thin, never be tall, never be a great beauty, but that was okay. She liked looking at herself in the mirror, seeing the radiant glow of good health, her natural curves highlighted with toned muscle underneath. Screw what everyone else thought.
Right?
She’d come so far. The physical changes had been epic. No one who knew her before she enlisted would ever recognize her now, and she took a lot of pride in that. It had taken years to get to this point. Years of hard work, sweat, sometimes tears, and a boatload of self-denial.
And yet - despite all that she had accomplished – it only took a few casually tossed barbs from Dee to rattle her. Maybe a little piece of the girl she’d once been still lived inside her after all. The one who knew that no matter how many friends she had, no matter how many men would want her at their six, they would never look at her the way they looked at Dee.
At the end of the day, insecurity was coded right into the strands of her DNA.
She’d learned to hide it well over the years, bury it beneath layers and layers of sass and attitude. No one ever knew or even suspected that it still hurt, not when she’d grown such a thick skin. Skin that obviously wasn’t always thick enough.
When the water grew cool, Mack released the stopper and began to towel off. That was when she saw the light on her phone blinking, indicating a message. That was also about the time when her heart started doing this weird pitter-patter thing.
It was probably just Jay, telling her he was going to be home late and not to worry. Or maybe someone fromSeize, calling with a question or an issue. There was no reason to think it washim, yet she knew it was.
She wrapped the towel around her body self-consciously. Given her lack of digital skills, she was likely to tap the video button accidentally and flash her contact list with a visual of hard nipples and pruney skin.
Mack inhaled sharply when she woke up the screen and saw it.
Nick:You there?
Itwasfrom him. What could he possibly want? When she’d left him at the gym, it had been with Dee wrapped around his arm. Her traitorous fingers were tapping out a reply before her mind could convince them it was a bad idea.
Mack:Yeah, what’s up?
