Page 20 of Seeking Vengeance
He tucked those thoughts away for later when he felt himself hardening right there, in the busy lobby. What was it about this woman that so threatened his self-control?
There was something decidedly different about her today, and it was more than just a lack of makeup and a sexy getup. She seemed more natural, morereal. Looking at her now, it was hard to envision the seductress who had nearly brought him to his knees the night before. The change both confused and intrigued him.
Sean didn’t realize she wasn’t alone until he saw her head bob, as if in agreement, and saw her lips move in response to whoever sat across from her. Why was she here? Who was with her? And why did she look so sad?
He should probably just keep walking, but something wouldn’t let him. Not allowing himself to think too much about what he was doing, he followed his instincts and slipped into the gift shop, angling himself behind the large display of magazines and paperbacks available for purchase. From this vantage point, he could catch occasional glimpses of Nicki, but she would be hard-pressed to spot him.
It only took a moment or so for Sean to recognize Nick’s voice as well. Hushed and low, it carried easily once Sean zeroed in and concentrated on them and them alone. It was a skill that had served him well in the field.
Sean felt a momentary flash of conscience for eavesdropping, but the strong warning in his gut overrode it. There was something going on with those two, and Sean had more questions than answers. He silently justified his actions by reasoning that if he didn’t know what the problem was, he couldn’t help fix it. Nick was his top mechanic, and Nicki was … well, he didn’t really know what she was yet, but he figured that if he could help her somehow, he would.
* * *
“You’re too fucking soft,”Nick said harshly. “That’s why you always get hurt.”
Nicki hung her head. What could she say to that? Nick was right.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he continued. “Why do you even care?”
Nicki ripped pieces from the paper napkin, rolling them into little balls with her fingers and letting them drop onto the table. A cinnamon roll sat, untouched, off to the side. Nick pointed to it in a silent request. Nicki nodded and pushed it toward him. Seeing her mother unconscious and hooked up to all of those tubes and machines had eliminated any appetite she might have had.
“The same reason you do,” she answered. “Because she’s our mother.”
“Don’t kid yourself, Nicki,” Nick said coldly. “That woman could go straight to hell for all I care, and I wouldn’t lose a wink of sleep over it. She was never a mother to me. To either of us. But especially not to you.”
He ran his hand through his already-disheveled hair. Hanging loose, it was almost as long as hers. “Christ, Nicki, how can you even look at her after what she did?”
“Shove it up your ass, Nick. You’re the one who fucking texted me, remember?”
“Yeah, because I thought you should know. Because I knew you’d be pissed if you found out I had known and not told you.Notbecause I wanted you to do anything about it. She doesn’t deserve it.”
“You want me to go? Fine. I’m outta here.” She’d had enough of people trying to push her into the shadows, tell her what she could and could not do.
Nicki grabbed her bag and made to get out of the booth, but Nick’s arm reached out and stopped her.
“You know I didn’t mean that. Christ, you make me fucking nuts!” He blew out a heavy breath. “I’m not ready for you to leave yet, Nicki. Please.”
Nicki slid back into place, and her head lowered as she took another sip of her coffee. Silence stretched between them for a minute, then two.
“Did she even recognize you?” Nick said softly. “Does she even know who you are?”
“Does it matter?” she asked quietly.
“What matters to me isyou, Nicki. Goddammit, I can’t stand to see your heart ripped out every time that woman fucks up and you think you can save her. When are you going to realize she doesn’t want to be saved? Maybe she wants to die. God knows she’s been trying hard enough to make it happen.”
How many times had she been through this? How many times had Charlene sworn she was going to clean herself up and do better? Nicki hadn’t seen her mother in years, but she’d made sure that she had a decent place to live, that her bills were taken care of when Charlene didn’t have enough money.
Nick didn’t know that though. Neither did Charlene. No one did, nor could they.
Despite her best efforts, a single tear fell onto the table, absorbed by the little paper spheres.
“Ah fuck, Nicki. Don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Nick,” she said, wiping at her eyes but not looking up. “I just have to. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but I just want her to know she’s not alone.”
Nick sighed heavily. “Yeah, I know. Do what you gotta do.” He slid out of the booth and gave his sister a quick kiss on the top of the head. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid, like blow town again without saying good-bye, yeah?”
She nodded wearily, but her eyes didn’t meet his.
