Page 35 of Seeking Vengeance
The food arrived. They sat on the floor and ate. They drank. They talked. About everything. About nothing. And when Nicki grew silent and her head rested against the sofa, her eyes closing as the exhaustion finally overtook her, she was vaguely aware of Sean gathering her into his arms and tucking her into his bed.
Then, he kissed her lightly on the forehead and closed the door softly behind him.
* * *
Nicki could feelhim watching her as she perched in the deep windowsill, waiting for dawn to break over the horizon. His gaze was unlike that of any she had ever known; it was a physical thing. She could feel it even now, winding around her as plainly as if he had cocooned her against him.
Each look had its own distinct feel, she was learning. When he was angry, his eyes flashed, each one like a slap, followed by the sensation of a vise closing around her. When he was playful, his eyes danced, giving her tiny tickling caresses across her skin. And when he was sexually aroused, which seemed to be most of the time, she could vividly imagine his tongue laving its way over the most sensitive parts of her body while other harder parts of him pressed against her, the taste of him from the single, searing kiss they’d shared bursting in her mouth.
Not for the first time, she wondered if he had this effect on every woman he met or if she was somehow special. Nicki gave herself a mental shake. She was turning into such a sap.
Everything about him screamed alpha male, calling out to her female instincts at the most basic of levels. So dark, so intense, and with a sexual pull stronger than gravity. And she certainly wasn’t alone in this. She would have to be blind not to notice the attention he drew from anything lacking a Y chromosome.
He’s gorgeous. And he’s probably had more women in his bed than I could count.
Then, another little voice said,He probably thinks the same thing about you.
Well, he wouldn’t be the first.
It wasn’t such a bad thing really. That assumption kept the nice ones away, and she had no use for the nice ones. They always thought they could change her, “fix” her, as if she were some leaky faucet or squeaky door. Most of them meant well, but Nicki had no desire to be worked on. Some things just couldn’t be fixed. The best she could do was hope to cover up the damage and keep people far enough away that they wouldn’t notice the little cracks and defects that led to the total devastation within.
It was remarkably easy to keep people at bay. As long as they felt like they’d made an honest effort, they could rest easy at night, knowing that they had at least tried. Then, they’d leave her alone, and she’d be fine until the next Good Samaritan came along.
Sean Callaghan was proving to be more tenacious than most. He kept coming back.
Does he want to fix me too?she wondered.Or does he just want to fuck me?
Probably the latter, her practical side said.
Men like Sean were used to getting what they wanted, no matter how sweet or attentive he was being at the moment. Everything was a means to an end in his world; nothing was done without purpose. She and Sean were very much alike in that respect. She’d do just about anything to achieve her goals as well.
Something else she knew? The more she ran, the harder he’d pursue her until he got what he wanted. It was all about the chase for him, the conquest. Getting something he couldn’t have. Once he did, the thrill would be gone and he’d have no further use for her.
But wasn’t that what she wanted? To be left alone? All she had to do was give in, give him what he desired, and, if she was honest, what she desired too. It wouldn’t be so bad, would it? He certainly seemed like the kind of man who had serious skills in that respect. They could pleasure each other, an erotic dance of give and take that would leave them both sated, and then they could move on, right?
No. It was a lie, no matter how she tried to dress it up or rationalize it away. She could feel the ice already melting around her heart, and that was a bad thing. Sean would hurt her.Reallyhurt her, if she allowed it.
Not in the physical sense. Those wounds didn’t last long. Bones mended. Bruises faded. Wounds closed. But heart damage? That shit stuck with you forever. If she ever did sleep with Sean Callaghan—for any reason—she’d be laying herself out in the open, setting herself up for total annihilation. Because he was different.
She could feel herself changing around him. Thinking crazy thoughts, like how maybe she wouldn’t have to shoulder everything alone. That maybe she was more than a quick fuck or permanently damaged goods. That she could have a life with someone like him. That terrified her more than anything.
“This is the most magical time of the day, don’t you think?” she asked softly, belying the turmoil within. “It’s almost like, for that one minute it takes for the sun to break the horizon, anything is possible.”
“Anythingispossible,” he said, his voice just as soft, tender, as if he actually believed that.
Jesus, Nicki thought.What if he does?
She forced a smile while, inside, a magnitude-eight quake rumbled through her.
“You don’t believe me.” It was a statement, not a question—and,oh shit, he was so much closer now. Close enough that she could feel the intense heat radiating from his body, scent the unique aroma of male soap and shaving cream andSean.
“I believe that you believe,” she said, turning back to the window because if she kept looking into those deep blue eyes, he was going to drag her into his land of make-believe. A shiver ran through her.
Sean slid behind her, wrapping around her like a blanket, his fragrant heat soaking into her. It felt far too good. He guided her back against him so that she could feel each strong, steady beat of his heart drumming through her back and into her chest. She resisted for a moment and then surrendered to it. Even she deserved a little comfort sometimes, right? And she wouldn’t let it go any further than that. It was just that she was so very cold, and he was so very warm.
“What do you wish for?”
The question surprised her so much that she barked out a laugh.
