Page 62 of Seeking Vengeance
If anything, Ian’s eyes darkened.
Sean didn’t like that look, not at all. “What is it that you’re not saying, Ian?”
“Nicki didn’t just bend the rules. She shattered them. While they might be willing to overlook a few minor infractions, they cannot ignore what she did here in Pine Ridge.”
“So, what? They’ll just kick her out or something, right?”
“Haven’t you been listening?” Ian’s voice rose with his level of frustration. “It is not something you walk away from. You can’t just leave. There’s no such thing as aformerChameleon.”
The temperature in the room seemed to drop at least ten degrees in a matter of seconds.
“What’s happened to her, Ian?” Sean’s voice was barely a whisper but was easily audible in the absolute silence.
“Honestly? I don’t know. No one does. The only thing my contact heard was that she was suspended indefinitely and remanded to a secure location.”
* * *
Nicki’s toetouched the porch flooring, just enough to maintain the lazy, rhythmic arc of the porch swing. It was another gloriously beautiful day. The sun was shining. There was hardly a cloud in the sky. The air was balmy with a slight breeze carrying the scent of wild magnolia across the meadow. If she listened carefully, she could hear the steady stream of icy creek water over the flat rocks behind the cabin.
Quite simply, it was paradise. There were no people, no missions. Other than a few modern conveniences, for which she was profoundly grateful, the cabin and its setting were rustic.
She passed her time doing simple things. Reading books from the impressive collection Taser had on hand. Working out using the weight bag and various fighting implements she’d discovered in the shed. Tinkering with the old Jeep out back.
Nicki eventually forced herself off the swing and down toward the creek. It was there that she spent an hour each day, stripping down to what the Lord had blessed her with and stretching out on the rocks like a lizard in the sun. She’d inevitably fall asleep, lulled by the sound of the water, letting her mind wander in the dreams that bled into her waking thoughts.
Sean Callaghan.The warmth and solidity of the rock reminded her of him. It didn’t take much effort to imagine that it was his hard body beneath her.
Wants and wishes. A sad smile teased the corners of her mouth as she recalled their dialogue that day. She now had everything she wanted, everything she could attain through her own efforts. She’d thought Sean was among the things she wanted, and for a time, he had been. She gave in to her desire and took him, even as she gave him a part of herself. But somewhere along the line, Sean had moved from the want category into the wish category. He was something she was incapable of having.
And Nicki didn’t do wishes.
She wasn’t stupid. She knew she’d fucked up royally. The Chameleons didn’t have a lot of rules, but the ones they did have were law. No family. No friends outside of the organization. And absolute secrecy.
They knew about Nick. That was enough to earn her a severe slap on the wrist but nothing more. She was one of their best and never revealed where she was or what she was doing.
They knew about her mom, too, but Charlene wasn’t going to tell anyone now, was she?
They knew about Benny. Allowing her to be the one to take him down was an added bonus. They would have gone after him eventually anyway.
What was unforgivable, what had sealed her fate, was her brief affair with Sean Callaghan.
Of all the men in the world, why had she chosen to break her vow of celibacy with him? She hadn’t willingly engaged—and so hadn’t engaged at all—in any sexual relationships since they’d scraped her out of the alley Benny’s thugs had dumped her into nearly a decade ago. So, why now? Why him?
Because he, and he alone, had done what no one else had been able to. For a little while, he had filled the Grand Canyon–sized hole in the middle of her chest. For a little while, she had felt truly loved, wanted, and desired.
Even now, she couldn’t regret it. That brief span of time with him was more than some people got in an entire lifetime, and it was certainly more than she’d ever expected. No, she realized as she lay in the sun, letting the cool water trickle over her fingertips and toes, she wouldn’t change anything. She had experienced true happiness, and now, she had enough memories to sustain her for whatever small amount of time she had left.
It couldn’t be too much more. Six weeks had already passed, and that was more than she’d anticipated. It was a beautiful place for someone to spend their last days. It was a rare treat, she knew, one most in her position wouldn’t get to experience.
She wasn’t a fool. The only reason she had been allowed into Taser’s private refuge was because she’d never be able to tell anyone about it. This was her final gift—the chance to make peace with herself and whatever she believed in. When the end came, it would be swift. Hopefully painless. And if there were a God, she would never see it coming. But if she did, she’d already made up her mind that she wouldn’t fight it. She’d accomplished what she’d set out to do. She’d broken the rules, knowing the consequences. She was ready to face her fate.
It was Wednesday, which meant a new shipment of supplies would be waiting for her at the far edge of the property come twilight. She never saw who delivered them. She obeyed Taser’s instructions to the letter, and they’d clearly stated that from four to six p.m. on Wednesdays, she was supposed to remain completely out of sight.
Nicki emerged from the woods, peering carefully this way and that. As always, she was alone. But this time, there was no shipment awaiting her. She sighed, bracing herself for the inevitable. Her time had finally come.
She took the long way back. Slipping off her shoes so she could feel the cool, damp earth and leaves beneath her feet, she wound her way through the forest. Her fingers stroked every tree along the way as she memorized the feel of the bark. She stopped briefly to admire every flower and inhale its scent. She listened to the sound of the awakening nocturnal creatures, and the soft brush of the wind through the leaves. And when she emerged just short of the cabin, she looked up into the most brilliantly designed sky she’d ever seen.
There was a light on in the cabin; the soft glow spilled out welcomingly. So much for her not seeing it coming.
