Page 108 of Connectio
My eyes snap open again, and I snatch my hand back and place it on my hip. “Oh, yes, there is! I need you to take this seriously.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not.” I point at him. “You have sex eyes. Nothing is serious with you when you have sex eyes.”
Will chuckles and waggles his damn sex eyes.
Growling, I turn on my heel and head back to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
I don’t wait for his answer; he’s having one whether he likes it or not.
Grabbing the coffee and sugar cannisters, I lift an eyebrow when he stops in the doorway and speaks.
“I am taking this seriously, Elizabeth.”
“Just because you used my full name does not mean you’re taking this seriously.” I open the cupboard, pull out a coffee mug, and slam it on the benchtop. “I won’t have kids, Will. Ever.”
“I know.”
“And I might get cancer again.”
He pushes off the doorframe, moves to where I’m standing, and takes my hands in his, his voice calm. “I know.”
“My life isn’t simple. It’s an ugly time bomb that might explode or simply tick forever. I don’t have a choice in this, but you do.”
“I know.”
Tears prick my eyes. “Stop saying that.”
“What else do you want me to say?”
“I… I don’t know… that it scares you as much as it scares me.” A tear spills from my eye onto my cheek.
Will reaches up and wipes it away. “But it doesn’t.”
“Well, it should.”
“Why? Because all men and women should want kids and live the perfect, cosy life?”
“Yes!”
“Believe it or not, not everyone wants that.” He trails his fingertips along my hairline then tucks a tendril behind my ear. “It’s boring.”
I scoff. “That’s stupid.”
“It’s not stupid. I don’t want boring; I never have. I want fun, excitement, the unknown. I want a challenge, not what everyone else wants or has. I want the good times and the hard times. I want you.”
“But why?” I sob. “Why do you want me?”
“Because you’re hot as fuck.”
I shove him. “I’m serious!”
He grabs for me again. “I know! I’m sorry. I know.”
We stare each other down before he says, voice calm, “Because you’re serious when I’m not. Because you’re short and I’m tall. Because I make you smile when you don’t want to smile. Because you’re fierce and see the world for what it is. Because you’re smart, funny, beautiful, kind, and fucking annoying. Because you’re you, sweetheart. That’s why I want you. That’s why I choose you.”
“But you shouldn’t have to choose.” I close my eyes, inhaling deep before slowly breathing out. “I’ll be the reason you’re not a father, and one day, you’ll resent me for it. You’ll regret this choice you were forced to make, and I can’t…. I just don’t think I can live with that.”
