Page 112 of The Vacation Mix-Up
Hugo sighs. “This is true.”
Smiling wistfully at how in love the two of them are, I allow my eyes to lock with Riley’s when he steps into my line of vision, leans in close, and whispers, “You want to kiss me again, don’t you?”
My wistful smile dissolves faster than an ice cube on a frying pan. “No!”
“Don’t even think about stealing my wine,” Leon jokes, pointing at Riley. “I have a black belt in Jui Jitsu.” He presses his feet together, slaps his hands by his sides, and bows.
Riley raises his hands. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
After the food stores, we thank Leon and say farewell to him, then make our way down a flight of precariously narrow steel stairs to the engine room and desalination plant. And although hot, pungent, and uncomfortably noisy, I find it interestinglearning how the ship uses four enormous generators to produce enough electricity to power and drive the ship, as well as the process involved in desalinating sea water and treating human waste—all thirty-thousand gallons of it.
We head back above sea level to one of the galleys, where an army of chefs prep food for this evening’s dining sessions, some of them artfully sculpting flowers from carrots.
“Last stop on the tour,” Gabriella announces, “is the bridge, where you’re all lucky enough to meet Captain Katarina, who I’m told is currently there. Please keep noise to a minimum. And I know it goes without saying, but no touching the instruments.”
We enter the bridge through glass sliding doors, a panoramic view of the ocean glistening in the sunlight as far as the eye can see. Navigation and communications systems are stationed throughout the spacious room, together with several officers in uniform, all of them acknowledging our arrival with friendly greetings and nods.
Hugo fans his face. “On second thought, dear husband, leave me here.”
“Over my dead body,” Manny quips.
I giggle.
“Welcome to the bridge,” Gabriella says in a hushed voice. “This is, of course, where the captain and her officers drive the ship and monitor weather conditions to ensure a safe journey from port to port.” She glances over at the captain, who holds up one finger, Gabriella nodding before continuing, “At night, the bridge is pitch-black except for the illuminated controls. This allows the captain and her officers to easily see other vessels by using binoculars. Each officer can only be on shift at night for a maximum of four hours to avoid fatigue, so while you all sleep, rest assured you’re in very capable hands. And speaking of very capable hands, please say hello to Captain Katarina, my boss. The best captain on the seas.”
We all murmur, “Hello,” and for some reason, I feel a little starstruck. Perhaps it’s the tailored white uniform, naval hat, andthe stripes on her shoulders. Or perhaps it’s because she’s a woman in a “man’s”world. Regardless, I feel the need to stand to attention and salute. Which I do, sans the salute.
“Hello. Welcome to the bridge,” she says. “Have you enjoyed the tour?”
We all nod, some of us saying, “Yes,” me included.
“Excellent. She’s a beauty, isn’t she?” Katarina lovingly rests her hand on a station. “Now, who would like to steer the ship?”
My hand shoots up of its own accord, and I mentally try to wrestle it back down again. I can’t even steer a shopping cart.
She points to me. “You, yes?”
Peanut freaking butter.
Tentatively stepping forward, I’m encouraged by Captain Katarina to join her behind the smallest wheel I’ve ever seen.
Shocked, I ask, “This steers the whole ship?”
“Yes.”
I place my hands on the wheel, excited but nervous.
“Just don’t crash, okay?”
“Crash?” I look directly ahead at the vast ocean. “What is there to crash into?”
She gestures toward the horizon. “Icebergs.”
“What?” I immediately let go of the steering wheel. “Where?”
“Don’t let go!” she shouts.
Shrieking, I grasp the wheel again, almost releasing a little scaredy pee into my panties.
