Page 37 of The Vacation Mix-Up
Scoffing, because you don’t just magically stop snoring because you say you can, I sit back and cross my arms over my chest. “How can you be so sure?”
“I have a plan.”
“You do, do you?”
“Yes.”
“Speaking of plans, we need to revisit the rules and boundaries.”
Riley groans. “It’s too early for that.”
“I’m serious. Our situation is already unconventional and uncomfortable. The least we can do is set some guidelines to make it a little easier.”
He stretches his arms toward the ceiling, then locks his fingers and rests them behind his head. “Fine. What are your rules and boundaries besides the ones you’ve already stipulated?”
“I—” My treacherous eyes lock onto his biceps, and I almost choke on my bagel.
“You okay?” he asks, brow raised.
“Yes”—cough—“I’m fine.” I thunk my chest with my fist, then take a sip of my coffee. “You need to knock.”
“What?”
“Knock… before entering the cabin.”
“But I’ll forget.”
“Then try not to. I might be getting changed, and I don’t want you barging in on me.”
“Why not?” He leans forward, picks up his toast, and points it at me. “You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”
Heat blooms in my cheeks, and I can’t help squirming in my seat. “I’m notashamedof my body, Riley. I respect it, and that means not flaunting it naked in front of strangers.”
“I wouldn’t exactly say we’re strangers anymore.”
“That’s not the point,” I say, gritting my teeth.
“Okay. Ease up.” He chuckles. “I’ll try to remember to knock.”
“Thank you.”
“Anything else?”
I take another bite and mumble, “Toilet seat down.”
“Why not toilet seat up?”
“Because I can’t sit on the rim of the bowl.”
“And I can’t piss when the seat is down. IfIhave to lift it, why can’tyouput it down?”
I go to drink my coffee again but pause, the side of the mug resting against my lip as I deliberate his rebuttal of how gender biased toilet etiquette can be. But then I remember hygiene trumps all.
“Because it’s unhygienic to leave it up,” I deadpan. “Poo particles.”
He bursts with laughter. “Poo particles?”
“Yes. They become airborne and land on your toothbrush.”
