Page 44 of The Vacation Mix-Up
“Because no one appreciates the simpler things in life anymore. It’s all about the finer things.”
“Damn straight it is. I appreciate fine things, especially fine ass.” He chugs the rest of his beer. “And you, my friend, missed out on some exceptionally fine ass last night. But I’m not complaining. More for me.”
I rest my arms on the counter. “They’re all yours, Ben, if that’s what they want. I’m not interested.”
He laughs, but it’s less boisterous than usual. “Look at me. I don’t think I’m what they want. Girls like them want you, not me.”
“So why waste your money on them?”
“It’s not a waste. I got my dick wet, didn’t I?”
I eye him suspiciously over the rim of my glass. “Did you?”
“You don’t believe me?”
At first, I didn’t, but I do now, given he’s Mr. Mason’s.
“I believe you,” I say.
He sets his glass down and turns to face me. “Why didn’t you hang around last night?”
Staring at the O’Brien crest hanging above the bar, I confess, “I’m getting a divorce.”
“More reason to have stayed.”
“Nah.”
“Are you crazy? What better excuse to fuck ’em, then chuck ’em?”
“Jesus, Ben.” I close my eyes momentarily, shake my head, then turn to him too, unblinking.
“What? It’s the truth. You’re free now. Fucking enjoy yourself.”
“You can’t just say shit like that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not right.”
“Women have never treated me right, so I give what I get.”
Again, I mildly feel sorry for the guy. Mildly. “Well, what you get is always what you’re gonna get if you feel that way.”
“That’s rich, comin’ from you. I bet all you have to do is flash those pearly whites and washboard abs, and you could have any woman you want.”
“Not true.”
“Bullshit.” He faces forward again and waves down the bartender.
“It’s not. Trust me.”While I’ve never had a problem getting a woman’s attention if I wanted it, which I haven’t, forming a connection isn’t about a perfect smile or whether you lift weights.“Not all women care about looks, Ben. At least, not the ones who are in it for real.”
“Your ex not in it for real?”
I don’t want to talk about Krystal, but I’ve stupidly opened that can of worms. “She was, but not anymore.”
“Fuck her.”
I give him a look, one that says,“Be careful.”
