Page 56 of Noel I Won’t
“We sure do, hon. We’ll get that going for you.” She turned to Hopper expectantly. He ordered a bacon cheeseburger with jalapenos, onion rings, and a strawberry banana MoonShake.
When she rang up the total, I tried to hand over my card, but Hopper once again insisted. “It was my idea to take you out to dinner. I’ll pay.”
“But you got the doughnuts this morning,” I protested.
“As a thank-you for all the extra work you’re putting in on the dinner party for my friends. This is different.”
Brenda took his card and ran the transaction, a small smile playing around her lips as she listened to us bicker.
I didn’t give in gracefully.
“Kevin’s paying for the event, though. It’ll make the farm a lot more than my wreath-making workshop did. You didn’t need to thank me then, and you don’t need to buy my dinner now.”
“Just let me treat you right, Noel,” Hopper said with exasperation. “What kind of men did you go out with in Chicago, anyway?”
That shut me up. Brenda returned Hopper’s bank card and handed us a plastic number, and we retreated to a booth by the windows. I sat across from Hopper, pensive as we waited for our food to be delivered.
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to imply you dated assholes in?—”
“Is this a date?” I asked suddenly. “Because I thought we were just getting something to eat. I didn’t know…”
“That I’m crazy about you?”
My heart clenched. What were we doing? I’d have to leave soon. I didn’t want to lead him on or hurt him. “Hopper…”
He grasped my hand, and I tugged it away on reflex. I glanced around to see if anyone had noticed. A group of teenage boys, so like Hopper and his friends back in the day, sat at two tables pushed together near ours. One of them was watching us, but when he caught my eye, he smiled and turned back to the conversation as if seeing two men hold hands was no big deal.
When I turned back to Hopper, he was watching me with confusion. “Noel, I know you’re leaving. I know this is temporary. And I don’t know how you do it in Chicago, but around here, if I sleep with a guy and then take him to dinner, it’s automatically a date.”
“Oh.”
“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”
“What? Of course not.”
“Then why are you pulling away anytime I touch you? Why are you looking around all nervous-like?”
“I just didn’t know how people around here would be with, you know, gay couples.”
Hopper’s eyes softened, and he reached for my hand again. My heart lurched, but I let him take it. He raised it to his lips, kissing my knuckles. “Sweetheart, this just isn’t the same place it was in high school. It’s been ten years.”
“Yeah.”
“A lot has changed. You noticed how so many buildings were different. Well, people’s mindsets are different, too. I know there are still a lot of small towns where that’s not the case. But you’re safe here. With me. I’ll always make sure you’re safe.”
I blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I was excited to come back here. Nostalgia, you know? But the flip side is that it reminded me of a time I couldn’t show who I was. I mean, as much as I could hide it, anyway. Did you know I used to sit at the soda bar and watch you?”
Hopper’s eyes widened with surprise. “Watch me? You never even wanted to talk to me.”
“That’s not true.” I chuckled, a little embarrassed to admit it. “I had these fantasies that you’d seek me out. Maybe pull me under the football bleachers or lead me into a locker room, and you’d kiss me and declare your undying love.”
He stared at me as if he’d never seen me before.
I squirmed uncomfortably. “Stupid, right?”
He pushed up suddenly, leaning across the table. He grasped my face in his hands and kissed me in the middle of the diner. His lips were warm, tender. This wasn’t a possessive kiss. Wasn’t a sexy one.
It was the answer to a question I’d never dared to ask.
