Page 67 of Noel I Won’t
What if he thinks you’re a duplicitous snake who’d sleep with him one night only to backstab him the next?
Mom and Dad were in the hall, staring down the stairs.
“What the hell is going on?” Dad asked.
“Honey, did you and Hopper have a fight?” Mom said. “He looked really upset.”
I drew up short, thrown by the casual way she said it. “Uh, we’ve been…”
“I know, dear. The walls aren’t that thick, and you two aren’t very subtle.”
Dad snorted. “Couple of lovesick fools. You really think we didn’t notice?”
I didn’t have time for this. Every second I delayed, Hopper got farther from me. I held up a finger. “I promise I’ll explain everything. But first, I need to go get Hopper.”
“Oh, he just needs to cool down,” Maggie said. “Arguments happen.”
I shook my head. “No, this is different. He thinks?—”
“What, hon?”
I shook my head. “He thinks the worst of me.”
“Oh, sweetie,” she said. “I’m sure that’s not true.”
But I knew it was. Hopper must feel so betrayed right now. If I werereallygoing to sell the farm without telling him, without any concern for his job or his future, then he had every right to hate me.
I rushed down the stairs. I was barefoot, dressed only in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, but I couldn’t slow down for shoes or a coat. Not when Hopper had a lead on me.
Not when he might get into his truck and drive away.
I could call him. I could drive around town looking for him. He’d eventually come back because he lived here. I knew all these things, rationally. But the lovestruck fool in me thought that if I let him go, I’d never get the chance to make it right.
I rushed out the back door, the outdoor temperature a cold smack in the face. It only served to heighten my awareness of this moment. Ice-cold wood under my feet as I took the steps.Wind brushing my hair into my eyes. Cinnamon’s sharp yip of happiness that I was coming out to play.
Hopper’s face as he stood frozen at the bottom of the steps, eyes full of pain.
I flew down the stairs, right into snowy slush so cold it burned. “It’s not what it looks like, Hopper!”
His jaw tightened, and yeah, that wasn’t the best opening. Isn’t it what everyone said when it was usuallyexactlywhat it looked like?
“I tried to leave,” he said numbly. “I wanted to, but I just…couldn’t.”
“I’d never sell the farm behind your back. You have to believe me, Hop. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“I get it, Noel. Your parents can’t keep up the farm. You were being a good son. Looking out for their future. I just…” He shook his head. “It’s not what I wanted. For any of us.”
I took a couple of steps forward, feet numb, body shivering with cold. “M-me either. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
He gave me a once-over. “Jesus, you’re going to get frostbite. Why would you come out here withoutshoes?Get back in the house.”
“N-not un-unless you c-c-c-come,” I got out between my chattering teeth.
“I just need some time to think. Go inside, and I’ll?—”
“Not w-without y-you!”
Hopper swept me off my feet in a bridal hold. I wouldn’t usually appreciate the show of strength. I was small, and I didn’t love being reminded of it. I preferred a big man to kneel before me, to give over his strength and let me take charge.
